Babysitting with the Blacks
by TheSolitaryNoodle
Summary: What happens when the three Black sisters - Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa - are forced to babysit their baby cousins, Sirius and Regulus? Only chaos. Please read, and a review wouln't be too bad either. -hint-hint- Humor. Ages are cannon and stuff...
1. Giggling Grandfather Clocks

**This is a random idea for a new story I had... so, erm... yeah. I wrote most of ths, and Jade wrote a little. Reviewing will be rewarded with... err... cookies. Yumm yumm cookies. **

**I am not JK Rowling.

* * *

**"Mother!" Dromeda swung round the doorframe of the dining room, where her mother and father were taking tea. "Aunt Walburga's head is in the fire; she wants to speak to you." 

Druella Black, her mother, waved a hand dismissively at her daughter, without even looking up from her scones. "Alright, Andromeda. Tell her I'm coming." Only now did she look up, wrinkling her nose. "And sort out your hair. You look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards."

Andromeda sighed and took the loose pins out of her light brown hair. "I will, Mother." She turned around, back into the room she had been in before. A woman's severe face gazed regally out of the fireplace, her impassive black eyes falling on her niece when Andromeda re-entered the room. "Mother will be here in a moment, Aunt Walburga." The fourteen-year-old informed the head that sat in the fire.

"Thank you, Andromeda." The woman's face remained stony. Dromeda had the ominous feeling that she should say something, but her usually clever mind had gone blank. She just stood there, twiddling her thumbs and staring at her scuffed shoes in embarrassment. However, she didn't have to wait long before her aunt spoke again. "And what on earth happened to your hair?"

The girl tentatively touched her hair. She's tied it in a loose knot at the back of her neck just five minutes ago. Had it come undone already? She'd have to get Narcissa to fix it for her later.

"Andromeda, you may go now." Dromeda jumped at her mother's voice. She turned to see Druella standing straight-backed in the doorframe. She nodded silently, and walked out of the door, glad to be out of the awkward atmosphere. "And shut the door, please." Her mother's voice was hard and uncaring, as it always was. Sighing slightly, she obeyed. As the oak door clicked shut behind her, she turned the corner and slammed right into the person she didn't want to see- her older sister, Bellatrix.

"Watch where you're going, idiot." Bella shoved her sister backwards as she said this, but it was just an offhand quip, carrying no real malice.

"Oh, go find someone who cares, Bella. If you can find one, that is." Dromeda knew that she shouldn't have said it, especially when her sister was obviously n a foul mood, but she said it anyway. The next thing she knew, she was backed up against the door, with her sister's wand pressed into her throat.

"You wanna say that again, Drommie?" Bella hissed, pushing her wand tip harder into Dromeda's neck.

Dromeda swallowed, feeling the uncomfortable notion of swallowing while your air pipe is cut off by a wand, scared against her will. "You're sixteen, Bella." She managed to spit out. "You can't use magic yet, remember?"

"So? The Ministry will never find out. And the parents will never know."

"As it happens, _Bellatrix, _Mother is currently talking to Walburga by Floo in that very room. If I scream, you're done for." She nodded at the door she was currently pressed up against. The momentary gleam- that had been almost like insanity- faded from Bella's black eyes as they flicked from Andromeda's to the door, and back again. Dromeda smiled, knowing full well that she looked annoying, and that her sister would like to do nothing better than slap her. Deciding to go for the full effect, she continued, "You were saying?"

Bellatrix tensed, her dark eyes falling on the oak door again. Then, ever so slowly, she took her wand away from her sister's throat, pocketing it angrily in her black jeans. She stepped back, still staring at the door. Dromeda pushed past her, deliberately barging into her shoulder. She waited for her sister's hand to come flying across her face in a slap, but it never came. Andromeda started for the door, but her sister's voice stopped her. "What are they talking about, anyway?"

"How should I know?" Dromeda shrugged, turning to face Bella again.

"It's probably about us, you know. We're all the old hag talks about, really. I can just hear her now- going on about what disappointments we are…" Bella mumbled to herself, never taking her eyes off the door.

Andromeda turned again, only to crash into her other sister, Narcissa, who was heading for the sitting room. "Hey Drommie. What's going on? And what happened to your hair? And what's gotten into Bella-"

"Cissa, you can't go in there; Mother's having a conversation with Walburga. And is my hair really that bad? You're like the third person to comment on it today. Oh, and if you're wondering what Bella's doing…" she checked over her shoulder at Bellatrix, who was still staring at the door, "Bella has a newfound obsession with the door. I think she's in love…"

Narcissa looked round Dromeda at her eldest sister, who looked up and glared. The blonde laughed at Bella's face, then reached up to tuck a strand of Andromeda's light brown hair into its bun. Sighing, Cissa pulled the whole thing out and started it again.

Bella walked towards her sisters, closing the two paces in between them. "It wouldn't hurt to listen at the door, y'know. We'll find out soon enough, anyway…"

I didn't know Walburga was coming over," Narcissa mused as she tugged at Dromeda's hair, probably trying to distract Bella from her newest scheme, which would almost certainly end in tears.

"Floo." Bella answered, as if this explained everything. She turned her gaze on the door again, and thought for a second, before striding over and pressing her ear against the wood.

"Bella!" Both Narcissa and Andromeda said it at the same time, but in hushed tones, in case their mother heard them. Bellatrix, however, paid no attention to either of them; she was focused on what she was hearing. The eldest Black sister beckoned them over. "Cissy… Drom… listen to this…"

Narcissa swept past Dromeda and pressed her ear, too, to the door. Bella's black eyes locked with Andromeda's and narrowed, as if daring her not to do the same. The younger glared back for a minute, before she hesitantly joined them.

"—Ok, Drue? Your girls are really the only ones I trust to look after them." That was their aunt.

"Really, it's fine. Send the boys round at 6. I'll talk to the girls- no problem."

"I'm not so sure they'll agree to this, though. I don't want to cause another fight…"

"There won't be one. I'll lock Bellatrix up if I have to-"

"Oh, that's nice!" Hissed Bella, a little too loudly.

"Shut _up!_" The two younger sisters chorused. Bella rolled her eyes and returned her attention to the conversation between the parents.

"Thank you for dong this, Drue. I wouldn't force them on the girls like this, but-"

"God! What are they talking about, already!"

"BELLA!"

There was silence on the other side of the door. "Hang on a moment, Wal…" Druella's voice was dangerously quiet, and muffled footsteps could be heard heading towards the girls listening at the door. Andromeda quickly stepped back from the door, pulling Cissa with her. Bella, however, stayed firmly glued to the wood. She narrowed her eyes at them, and continued listening at the door. Their mother's footsteps were defiantly getting closer now, but Bella kept her ear firmly pressed against the wood. The other two sisters already knew what was gong to happen- they hid behind the old Grandfather clock to avoid it. They tried to beckon Bellatrix over, but she ignored them. She was being incredibly reckless- Druella was practically at the other side of the door now.

Druella yanked the door open, causing Bellatrix to fall into the sitting room, landing hard on the floor.

"Oh…err…" The eldest Black sister was reminded exactly how scary her mother could be when she was angry. Laughing nervously, she improvised. "Well, whadyaknow, Mother, the door does open… erm…"

Druella's eyes bulged and she opened her mouth. Bella braced herself for the storm.

"BELLATRIX DRUELLA BLACK!!! What on earth are you doing?"

Bellatrix looked down at the floor she was sprawled on. "Um… lying on the floor?"

"Don't you _dare _take that tone with me! It's a very good thing your father forbids me to use Unforgiveables on you! And to think, I was going to ask you to be responsible tonight. Well, you've just passed that privilege onto Andromeda!" Bellatrix gulped as her mother ranted. "Go to your room, NOW! I'll be up in a minute."

"Yes, Mother." Bella leapt to her feet and sprinted up the large staircase, hearing a small giggling coming from the Grandfather clock.

Druella stepped out of the sitting room, into the corridor, glaring as her eldest daughter slammed her door upstairs. Then, she turned, pausing for a second to look at the giggling Grandfather clock, and returned to her place in front of the fire.

* * *

"Oh, did you see her face, Cissy? She was terrified! I'm never gonna let her live this down!" laughed Andromeda as she almost skipped down the corridor of Black Manor.

"Actually, it surprised me that she could run that fast. I bet she's feeling really embarrassed right now…"

"And, God, Mother was furious! Bella's in for a lot of pain!"

The two giggling sisters turned the corner into the kitchen, only to find their father sitting at the kitchen table, drinking brandy.

Cygnus Black was so much nicer than his wife- he loved his daughters, more than anything in the world, and his family meant everything to him. He looked up as Cissa and Andromeda entered the room. "Hey girls!" He said, opening his arms for a hug. They both hugged him, and, with a flick of his wand, two chairs appeared in front of them. Andromeda flopped onto the chair; Narcissa chose Cygnus' lap instead. "I heard your mother screaming a minute ago. What was that about? She sounded furious."

Dromeda laughed. "Oh, she caught Bella eavesdropping."

Cygnus laughed and nodded. "And were you two there too?"

"Well… yeah… but _we, _unlike Bella, had the sense to move out of the way before Mother opened the door.

Cygnus winced. "Oh, Bella can be an idiot sometimes… poor girl. I suppose she's being punished now?"

"Yes. She is." Druella stood in the open doorway, a belt in one hand, and Bella in the other. Her fingers dug into her daughter's arm in a vice-like grip. Bella was trying to pull free, but she couldn't. "Now, _girls,_" Druella roughly shoved Bellatrix onto the chair that Cissa had rejected as she said this. "I have something to tell you." She put the belt on the kitchen table, and turned to face her daughters and husband. She glared at Cygnus, who coughed slightly, and pushed Narcissa off his lap, joining his wife. Narcissa pouted and sat on Bella's lap instead.

"Girls, your father and I are going out tonight, with your Aunt Walburga and Uncle Orion. You are to baby-sit Sirius and Regulus. Understood?"

Cissa smiled.

Dromeda nodded.

Bellatrix fell off her chair. "Mother! No! I don't want to look after those prats!"

"I don't _care, _Bellatrix! You are going to look after them, whether you like it or not."

"But _Mother!_"

"Shut up! The boys will be here in 5 minutes. Andromeda, you're in charge."

Bella's head shot up. "Huh?"

"You heard me, Bellatrix. Andromeda is in charge."

Bellatrix was on her feet in seconds. "But… I'm the eldest! _I _should be in charge! It's not _fair!_"

"Bellatrix! Shut up now, unless you want another beating!" Druella's face went a blotchy red with frustration as she said this. Bella opened her mouth, and closed it again as her mother picked up the belt.

Andromeda pinched Bella's cheek, only to infuriate her more. This was going to be very, very fun.

* * *

Sirius and Regulus arrived by Floo powder at exactly 6 o'clock. Sirius was laughing as he tumbled onto the carpet, but Regulus was crying. For two boys who looked almost exactly the same, they were very different.

Sirius grinned like a maniac upon seeing his cousins- and all three girls thought the same thing… '_Oh dear.'_

_

* * *

_

**You like the lttle 'Go' button. Yes, you do. **


	2. Tears, Trixie and Trouble

**Hiyaaah!!! It is moi!**

**Ok, I know I only posted the previous chapter two or three days ago, but I have a plot for this one, so it's much easier to write. And really fun:D**

**This was a hard chapter to write- it's a filler, and quite boring, the other capters will be betterer! ((There will be fifteen chapters in all, btw)) **

END OF LAST CHAPTER:

_Sirius grinned like a maniac upon seeing his cousins- and all three girls thought the same thing… 'Oh dear.' _

Chapter 2

"Goodbye." With Walburga's harsh parting word, the four adults disappeared.

Sirius smiled at his cousins, all of whom were looking extremely apprehensive at the thought of what was going through his brain. Sirius decided to jump in the deep end immediately. He strode up to his eldest cousin, and tugged at her hand. "Hello, Trixie," he said, the picture of innocence.

He could have laughed out loud at her face- a muscle was twitching in her jaw as she tried to ignore him, her hands fisting into a ball. She was fighting the urge to punch him, and she'd soon crack.

Sirius climbed onto the coffee table next to her, so that their faces were at the same level. He, at seven, was nine years younger than her, but he was tall for his age. "Trixibell! Can you hear me?"

She looked into his eyes- eyes that were exactly the same black as hers- and glared. She suddenly looked mad- a psychopath- and Sirius felt a tiny bit afraid. But he couldn't give up now- tormenting Bella was his favourite hobby, closely followed by kicking Kreacher down the stairs. He put on a voice of mock surprise, and said, "Oh, you _can _hear me! Good Trixie!"

He laughed, but his laugh soon turned into a strangled cry of pain as he found himself face down on the floor with his right arm twisted agonisingly behind his back. He tried to cry out, but Bella pushed his face further into the fluffy carpet, muffling it. She twisted his arm even further- he could hear Dromeda and Narcissa screaming at her, but she paid no attention. His arm was going to snap- he could feel it… any minute now…

Then, suddenly, Bella let go. In a swift movement, she stood and walked out of the door, slamming it with such force that a portrait of Phineas Nigellus fell off it's peg. The remaining four children sat in silence, listening to her storming up the stairs. That was so typically Bella; hurt him, but leave no evidence that you ever did it.

Sirius felt Dromeda pick him up, and sit him on the sofa. Tears were running down his cheeks, and he wiped them away angrily. His arm really hurt. "Ow." He whimpered.

"Shh, now. Where does it hurt?" Andromeda gently wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Everywhere. I'm going to die. Oh, the pain…" Sirius flopped back against the pillows, a hand pressed to his forehead in mock agony. Andromeda, Narcissa, and Regulus laughed. Spurred on by their laughter, he carried on. "Oh, the agony! Oh! The light! I can see the light! My entire life… it's flashing before my eyes. Goodbye, cruel world!" With that last word, he collapsed backwards. It would have been very good acting, had he not been shaking with laughter.

Dromeda laughed out loud and hit his arm lightly. "Oh, you faker!"

Sirius sat upright, just as Regulus clambered onto the sofa next to him, his Blankie in his hand, as always. He stuck his thumb into his mouth, and stared at his feet, brows furrowed. He did this a lot, and nobody really knew why.

Andromeda stood up and turned to Cissa, who was sitting on the leather armchair. "Cissy… could you go talk to Bella? I mean- she hates me, so I shouldn't go…"

Cissa smiled at her sister. "Sure. But if I don't come back alive…" With a parting grin, she disappeared up the stairs.

Dromeda turned back to her cousins. "Are you sure you're Ok, now, Siri?"

"Yeah." Sirius said offhandedly, whacking Regulus over the back of the head repeatedly. The younger boy was ignoring him, now staring at his toes rather manically. Dromeda caught Sirius' arm before he could hit his brother again, and looked at Regulus with some worry. The five-year-old was gazing at his toes; his eyebrows getting ever so slightly lower and lower, until they would shoot up so high that they disappeared into his scruffy black hair, then start the whole progress again.

"Is he… Ok?" Andromeda whispered.

"Yeah, he does that all the time. He'll start mumbling in a minute. Something about his socks."

"Oh."

Before either of them could say anything, a sharp scream came from upstairs, and the sounds of running feet could be heard. Dromeda stood up just as her little sister came crashing through the doorway, slamming it shut behind her. "Cissy! Oh, my God, what happened?"

"Bellatrix… is… evil…" Narcissa panted, staggering over to her cousins and sister, and sinking onto the arm of the sofa next to Sirius, who had started hitting Regulus again. Dromeda licked her index finger and thumb, pinching a small flame on Cissa's blonde head to put it out. "And_ what_ is Reg doing?"

"It's his ritual, apparently. For his socks."

"O…kay…"

The door slammed open loudly, and all four of them jumped up. Bella stood in the doorframe, glaring. Sirius opened his mouth to scream, '_TRIXIE!!!_' but both Cissa and Dromeda clapped their hands over his mouth. Bella, though, had been able to guess exactly what he was about to say, and narrowed her eyes at him. She strode over, seemingly just for a chat. "When are Walburga and Orion picking the boys up, Drommie?" She hissed at Andromeda

"In the morning, Bella."

Bella coughed. "They're staying the _night?_"

"Yes. They are." Dromeda said this without missing a beat. Bella opened her mouth, but then shut it and half-ran over to the dresser. She yanked open a drawer and rummaged inside it for a while. Narcissa and Andromeda shot each other worried looks. When Bella had found what she was looking for, she hid it behind her back it and walked back over to them, keeping herself calm. When she was standing right next to her sisters and cousins, she drew the object out from behind her back. It was a small, sharp knife.

"I will do it." She said, putting the blade to her wrist. "I will. Don't think I won't."

"Oh, drop it, Bells. You wouldn't." Dromeda held out her hand for the knife. Narcissa sighed and went to lean against the opposite wall.

"I will!"

"No. You won't. Drop the knife."

"I will!"

"Bella, give it up. Hand me the knife. Come on."

"I-"

"Oh, for God's sake! You _won't_!"

Bella screamed, throwing the knife as hard as she could at Andromeda. It whistled past her ear, and thudded into the wall opposite, millimetres away from Cissa's head. She whimpered slightly, and looked at the quivering dagger that had so very nearly killed her with wide eyes. Everyone was silent, until-

"BELLA! YOU _IDIOT! _YOU NEARLY _KILLED _HER!" Andromeda could be quite loud when she wanted to be.

"Yeah, well I was aiming for you." Bella growled, before turning on her heel and storming out of the room.

Sirius looked at his middle cousin. She was slowly turning a brilliant red, as if she was filling up with hot water. Then, suddenly, her face went deathly pale, and returned to its normal, freckly, rosy-cheeked state. Fully composed now, she hurried over to Narcissa, who was still looking, terrified, at her sister's dagger. Andromeda grabbed its wooden hilt, and tugged. The sharp blade had trapped some of Narcissa's long blonde hair, and she couldn't move. Dromeda yanked and yanked, but it wouldn't budge. Silently marvelling at Bella's strength, she placed her palm against the wall and yanked again. "Oh, stay there, Cissy. Kreacher!"

An ugly, wrinkled House Elf appeared with a loud _crack_, and immediately pressed his overlarge nose against the floor in a bow. Sirius glared at it, while Regulus laughed, finally satisfied that his toes were up to scratch. Regulus had always liked Kreacher. "Yes, Miss Dromeda? How can I help you?"

"Could you go get some scissors, please, Kreacher?"

"Of course, Miss Dromeda. Kreacher lives to serve the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."

"Err… thank you, Kreacher."

"It is my pleasure, Miss." With another _crack_, he disappeared, and returned in a second with a pair of scissors clutched in his bony hand. "Is there anything else Miss requires?"

"No, thank you, Kreacher. These are all I need." _Wow. _Thought Dromeda. _That Elf really is creepy…_

Kreacher flattened himself on the floor again, then there was another _crack_, and the Elf was gone.

Andromeda turned to Narcissa, who was still pinned to the wall by her blonde hair. She opened and closed the scissors experimentally, as if examining the situation. Cissa, realising what Dromeda was planning, whimpered again and tried to pull her hair away from where it was trapped.

"Cissy…" Dromeda looked rather like Bella when she said this. "Cissy, stay still. I'm going to cut your hair."

"You are NOT going to cut my hair off. There has to be another way to get this stupid knife out. I will… erm…"

"Stand here all night, waiting for the parents to return?"

"No… maybe Bella can get the dagger out-"

"Just _stay still,_ or I'll slip and you might end up bald."

Cissa froze. She couldn't risk anything happening to her hair. As Dromeda carefully cut away her blonde lock from the blade, she watched her two younger cousins, trying not to think about what her hair would look like with one bit shorter than the rest. Regulus had fallen asleep; hugging his blanket, thumb in mouth. His black hair fluttered over his mouth with each breath he took. He looked quite cute when he was sleeping, and not obsessing over his toes. Cissa looked around for Sirius but he was nowhere to be seen. Odd… the Narcissa noticed that the door was ajar- Bellatrix had slammed the door shut on her way out. Then why was it open…?

It was as if a light bulb had gone off in her head. Did Sirius have a death wish? "Drommie…" She said.

"Hang on, nearly there… aha! All better. And it doesn't look-"

"Andromeda, Sirius is gone."

Dromeda turned around, and sure enough, there was no sign of the seven-year-old. "Oh, no," she groaned. "Please say he hasn't been that stupid…"

Then, Sirius' voice came from upstairs confirming their fears. "TRIXIBELL!!!" He screeched joyfully. An enraged scream, Bella's, followed shortly after. Andromeda rushed upstairs, followed by Cissa, who accidentally tugged a few strands of hair that her sister had missed as she sprinted forward. They flung open the door, just as a sound like a gunshot filled the air, and Sirius came flying backwards, right into Narcissa's stomach. She doubled over, winded, and Sirius fell to the floor. He stood up, brushed down his t-shirt and jeans, and said in a mock outraged voice, "Really. That Trixie has a very bad temper!" And stormed back into the sitting room.

Dromeda bent over and looked at Narcissa worriedly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," the younger managed to gasp. "I'm… fine."

"No, you're not." Said Andromeda, pulling Cissa to her feet. "Go and sit down. You'll be ok in a minute." The blonde nodded, and let her sister half-carry her to the couch where Sirius and Regulus, who now awake, sat. She flopped down, and rubbed her stomach in the place where Sirius had cannonballed into her. "I'm gonna go talk to Bella," Andromeda said when the three youngest had settled down, pushing and pinching each other over who got the best cushion. In the end, Narcissa won, so the boys simply piled into her lap instead.

Dromeda left them and climbed the stairs to her sister's room. Knocking quietly on the door, she opened it to her sister's room. Bella was lying face down on her double four-poster, tapping her wand impatiently against her head. When she heard the slight _click _the door made, she looked up, eyes narrowed. Andromeda couldn't help noticing that the excessive amounts of black eyeliner she wore every day was smudged, making her look like a panda.

"Oh." Said Bella. "It's you."

"Yeah." Dromeda said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She had meant to come up here to yell at Bellatrix, but she was sure she'd been crying. Bella never cried. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Really, it's… its… liquid eyeliner. I can't get the hang of it, so it ran."

"Really?" Dromeda replied, sarcastically, standing and walking over to Bella's dressing table. I don't see any _liquid_ eyeliner here… only pencil…"

Bella bit her lip. "It's… err… Cissy's." She improvised wildly.

Dromeda raised an eyebrow at her. "Cissy doesn't wear eyeliner."

Bella nearly kicked herself. Andromeda had her backed into a corner.

Dromeda sighed and sat down next to her sister. "Bella, what is it?" But her sister just hid her head in her hands. Andromeda started to stroke Bella's hair reassuringly. Bella had lovely hair, solid black and curly. "C'mon, Bells, you can tell me. Was it because Mother beat you? Is that it?"

"No. Leave me alone."

"Bella, I won't tell any-"

"I _said_, leave me ALONE!!!"

Andromeda stood and left the room abruptly. If that was how Bella wanted it, then fine.

* * *

**Sorry about the shortness and boringness of it. The other chapters will be better, I promise. Ths chapter was needed so you know thair characters a bit better. In short, Bella's a stroppy cow, Dromeda's very nice, Cissy just does what she's told, Reggie is just CUTENESS, and Siri is vair vair annoying.**

**PS- I'm aiming for the next 13 chapters to be like 10 pages on Word long, so the update won't be as long. Also... have two other ongoing fanfics... so...**

**Ellie xxxx**


	3. Dinner

**Hey! A new chapter is up, as you can probably see. Erm… ****I hope you like it! Oh, and I made a typo in the last one, I said 'the update won't be as long', but I meant as short. Sorry bout that… Yeah, and this is only 5 pages. 10 pages would have killed me.** Chapter 3

Andromeda stormed down the stairs, her mind working furiously. Bella was such an idiot. First she screams, then she cries, then she screams again. Dromeda hoped that she wasn't like that when she was sixteen. She smirked a little, remembering exactly what was annoying her sister so much. She hated not being in charge, and having her little sister take over was all too annoying. Though why he was crying…

When she opened the sitting room, she found Cissa and Sirius all sitting on the sofa, listening to Regulus, who was bouncing up and down next to them. "You see," he was saying, in a comically serious voice for a five-year-old, "If I don't, then they'll run away, and I won't be able to walk!" Dromeda sighed, shaking her head slightly. He was going on about his toes again.

Sirius was the first to see her, and he leapt up from Narcissa's lap. She didn't look up, but was staring at Regulus, obviously worried at what he had just said.

"Erm…" Narcissa didn't really know what to say at her baby cousin's little outburst. "Sure, Reg…" She looked up at Andromeda, with a look that clearly said, _'Any idea what he's on about?'_ Dromeda stifled a laugh, and grinned back, shrugging slightly at Cissa's silent question.

"Anyway," the older girl said, "What time is it?" She looked at the old-fashioned clock that hung on the wall. 6.20. "I think we should have dinner soon…"

"FOOD!!" the smaller boys chorused, jumping up on to their feet at exactly the same time. This caused only more chaos; Sirius managed to knock Regulus off the sofa when he flung his arms out joyfully, and managed to step on Cissa again. She shoved him off the sofa, where he fell onto his little brother. Regulus burst into tears.

Dromeda hurried round the sofa to pick him up. "It's Ok, Reg. Shh, shh." Then, as his sobs quietened, she carried on. "Now, what do you two want for dinner?"

Regulus' head shot up at the mention of dinner. "Pizza!" He yelled joyfully.

Sirius jumped up onto the sofa again, being careful not to tread on Cissa again, joining in. "Chips!" He screamed.

Regulus spun in Andromeda's arms. "Pizza!" He yelled indignantly at his brother.

"CHIPS!!"

"PIZZA!"

"PIZZA _AND _CHIPS!!"

Regulus didn't seem to understand this for a second, before he punched the air, narrowly missing Andromeda's ear, screeching, "Yeah! And ice cream!" At this, Sirius laughed, hi-fiving his little brother. Regulus wriggled out of Dromeda's arms, landing on the sofa, taking care that none of his Blankie was caught up in anything. When he was satisfied that it was Ok, he shoved his thumb firmly into his mouth, and turned to look expectantly at Dromeda.

Just as she was about to open her mouth, a crackling noise came from the fireplace. The four children jumped at the sudden noise, and turned to see Druella's head in the fire. She regarded her two daughters and young nephews with slight distaste, and then locked eyes with Andromeda. "Andromeda. Where's Bellatrix? I need to say something to all of you."

Dromeda bit her lip. If their mother was talking to them, then there must be something important going on. She didn't say anything for a minute, not thinking about her mother.

"Erm… I'll go get her, Mother." Narcissa piped up, before turning and hurrying up to Bella's room. Immediately, Sirius, Regulus and Dromeda found themselves in an awkward situation; Druella Black was a very difficult woman to talk to. All three of them stared in embarrassment at their feet, trying to think of things to say to relieve the tension. When they finally heard Cissa and Bellatrix coming downstairs, they all had to stop themselves from sighing out loud in relief. The door opened quietly, and the two sisters walked in; Narcissa first, dragging Bella in by her elbow.

"Yes, Mother?" drawled Bella, sounding bored.

"Do _not _take that tone with me, Bellatrix." Druella snapped, her eyes almost blazing fire. _Quite an achievement for someone so cold… _Bella thought, glaring right back. Dromeda noticed that she had taken of her smudged, runny make-up; she no longer resembled a panda after a bad fight. "Bellatrix," Druella said, but before Bella could answer, she had turned to her other daughter. "Andromeda… Narcissa… Sirius… Regulus…" Her stony eyes locked with each of theirs as she said their name. Then she bellowed out loud, "KREACHER!!"

At once, the scrawny elf apparated into the sitting room, pressing his nose to the floor in a bow deeper than any of the ones he had given the children. Sirius was tempted to give him a much-needed kick in the rear for good measure.

"Now that you are all here…" Druella continued, "I have to inform you that the others and I will be needing to _borrow _Kreacher. So you five will have to-"

"_Wait,_" Bella spat, her dark eyes widening. "You mean we'll have to cope _without _a House-Elf?"

Druella narrowed her eyes at her eldest daughter. "Yes, Bellatrix, that is exactly what I mean. You three girls, _all _of you, have to feed the boys, then give them a bath and put them to bed. No arguments. Come, Kreacher. Oh, and also… I don't want anyone using magic. I've cast a spell on the house. If you _try_ anything…" She looked at Bellatrix as she said this. "The spell will backfire and your wand will be transported to me. Got that?"

"Erm… Mother…" Dromeda started tentatively as her mother was obviously not in the best of moods, but Druella's head disappeared from the fire, followed loyally by Kreacher. Sirius stuck his tongue out at the place where the elf had been.

Bellatrix rounded on her sister. "Well, _Andromeda_, what do you plan to do now?" She snapped, as if this were all Dromeda's fault.

"Oh, how am I meant to know? You're the eldest here!!"

"And _you're _in charge! Mother said so!"

"And since when have you listened to a word Mother said?"

"SHUT-"

"OH WILL YOU TWO BE QUIET!!" Everyone in the room went quiet at this last retort, and turned to look at the person who had screamed it. Sirius was standing with his hands on his hips, glaring daggers at his two eldest cousins. The two girls just stared back, while Narcissa had a laughing fit behind him at her older sisters' faces.

Andromeda slowly turned red, as she always did when she was embarrassed. She coughed slightly, looking down at the floor. Bella, however, had turned a blotchy pink, and the air around her seemed to crackle with static electricity. Her hand clenched around something in the back pocket of her black jeans, which everyone knew was her wand. She yanked it out and pointed it at Sirius, who was still standing on the arm of the chair, grinning in a very annoying fashion. His eyes widened when he saw his cousin, looking rather insane, about to shout a spell.

"Bella, NO!" Dromeda and Narcissa screamed in unisons.

"Impedimenta!!" Bella screamed, expecting Sirius to fly backwards into the wall. Narcissa smacked herself over the head; she could tell how this was going to end.

Bella flew backwards, through the doorframe and smacked into the door opposite with a loud crash. One of her feet hit the irreplaceable Chinese Ming-Dynasty vase with the ornate dragon pattern on it, smashing it to pieces. Her wand, falling to the floor, glowed blue and disappeared. She slid down the floor, clutching the back of her head, which had started to bleed. Both Cissa and Regulus ran towards her, Dromeda and Sirius stayed behind, Sirius trying very hard not to laugh. Bella struggled to her feet and stormed back into the lounge, one hand still holding her bleeding head.

"Weren't you listening to Mother, you idiot? She said _no magic_!!" Snapped Dromeda. Bella glared at her and walked out of the sitting room, mumbling something about getting an ice pack for her head.

"Ah…" Cissa murmured, looking at the shards of china that had once been a priceless vase. "If… if we can't use magic, then how are we going to clear that up? Mother'll go through the roof when she finds out it's been broken."

Dromeda bit her lip. She could imagine her mother's reaction when she saw it, and it would not be good. That vase was very expensive and very old. Even though Druella could fix it with a simple '_Reparo_', it was more of the fact that Bella had been careless enough to break it. And Bella was not in their mother's good books at the moment…

"Never mind that, what are we going to do about food?" Came Bella' voice from the doorway. Her sisters looked up and saw her, one hand pressing an icepack to her bleeding head, the other pulling Regulus in tow.

Regulus tightened his grip on Bella's hand and turned towards her, thumb in mouth. "Bewwa." He whined, hitting her with his blanket. "Bewwa, I'm hungwy. I want food." He smacked his head against her hip.

"Well…" Cissa said, looking at Regulus thoughtfully. "We _could_ try to cook ourselves. It can't be that hard, can it? And we're not gonna make a ten-course meal, we just need something simple. Of course, we couldn't let Bella near anything but dirty dishes and rubber gloves…" Narcissa grinned as her sister sent her a dirty look. "But we could give it a go. If house elves can do it, so can we, right?"

Dromeda pondered this for a moment, trying to foretell the disaster, and nodded. Bella raised an eyebrow. "You're suggesting we _cook_?? Couldn't we just starve them instead?"

Andromeda glared at her. "Look at that." She said, pointing to Regulus, who was smacking his head against Bella's hip with more and more force each time. "Do you think he'll be happy if we starve him?"

Bella dropped the icepack and caught his head with her hand, still holding his hand in her other. "Fine. We'll cook. Wh- where's Siri gone?"

They all looked around, except for Regulus, who was still trying to break his cousin's hip with his head. "Oh, no…" Narcissa murmured.

With the Devil's timing, Sirius came in behind Bella, smiling sweetly. "Hello, Drommie, Cissy, Trixibell, Turnip Head." This last was directed at Regulus, still trying to overpower Bella's hand.

"What have you done, Sirius?" Bella asked warily, looking down at him as if dreading the answer.

"Me? Do something? What on earth would give you that idea, Trixie?" He said, a grin breaking out over his face as he looked up at her. She raised an eyebrow. "You'll find out soon enough, Bella. Don't you worry your frizzy little head over it."

Bella shot him a glare that would have scared Godric Gryffindor himself, but Narcissa cut Sirius off before he could wind her up any more. "Listen, we're all hungry, let's just get some food before another argument happens. And Bella, grow up, please…"

Narcissa pushed past Bellatrix, heading out of the door. Sirius stuck his tongue out at Bella, who clenched her teeth and ignored him. He then followed Cissa. Just as Dromeda walked past her, Bella felt Regulus stop pushing against her hand and gasp, falling to the floor. His eyebrows worked furiously as he stared at his toes in horror. Bella rolled her eyes and bent down to pick him up, just as a scream echoed through the Manor. Slinging Regulus over her shoulder, Bella stood up and ran towards the source of the noise.

Standing in the doorframe to the dining room, soaking wet, stood Narcissa. Sirius burst out laughing; confirming suspicions that he was the culprit, not that they really needed confirming anyway. She glared at him, furious, and started towards him. Bella ran forward, dumping Regulus into Dromeda's arms and held her back. "Cissy, calm down." She hissed, holding her away from Sirius, who was rolling on the floor laughing. Bella grabbed her sister's elbow and dragged her into a bathroom, saying, "Drom, you start feeding the brats, ok?"

Andromeda, shocked by Bella' sudden helpfulness, blinked a few times and then looked down at Regulus, who was staring at his toes in horror, and Sirius, who was lying on the floor, still laughing his head off. She sighed, shifting Regulus to her hip and grabbing Sirius' hand, and walked towards the kitchen, stopping at every door she passed to see if he had balanced any more water buckets on the top of doors.

Dromeda had put the pasta on and was just making the tomato sauce when her sisters came in; Narcissa had abandoned her sopping wet dress and was now wearing a skirt and top, a towel over her wet hair. She sent Sirius a scowl to match Bella's, and walked over to talk to Dromeda. "I see you've got the pasta going." She said, smiling at her. "D'you need help with that?"

"Thanks, Cissy." Dromeda smiled back as Narcissa took over the tomato sauce. "Bells, could you watch the pasta while I go lay the table?"

Bella came over to the stove without a word, peering into the saucepan. As they worked silently, the only sound in the room the repeating _thwack_ of Sirius hitting his brother over he head. After a few minutes, Cissa turned to her eldest sister. "This is going to be one chaotic night, Bells."

Bella grinned. "Yes. And it's my duty as the stroppy cow of the family to make Andromeda's life hell, seeing as she's in charge. This could be fun."

Cissa shook her head in mock despair, whispering, _"You are so like Sirius"_, but Bella didn't hear her, either that, or she ignored her. The blonde laughed as their cousins came up behind them, Regulus finally happy with his toes. The five-year-old leant against Cissa's legs, sucking his thumb, while Sirius tried to climb onto Bella's back. She shoved him off, and walked over to the sink, pouring out the pasta. As she was separating in into the five bowls, she spotted something on the side.

"Siri… Reg…" She said, looking down at them and grinning, a grin that was a lot like Sirius'. "Do you like chocolate cake?"

--

Once they'd found some books for Regulus to sit on so he could see over the tabletop, they tucked in to their meal, which surprisingly, tasted rather nice. Sirius insisted, however, that Bella had poisoned it, and decided to check every single pasta shell for poison… at least, he was, until Bella shoved about ten down his throat at once. Gagging, he gulped down some water, thinking it would be a good idea to practise his whale impression. Regulus burst into tears as his brother spat water all over him, shuffling his seat as far away from Sirius as the table would allow.

Regulus, deciding that tomatoes were 'evil', picked every single one out and put them in the flowerpot by the edge of his chair, claiming he was 'feeding the plants'. Despite Sirius' yells that plants don't eat tomatoes, he still carried on hiding them in the pot plant, until he shoved one in his brother's ear.

Narcissa even managed to refrain herself from flicking pasta shells at Sirius when he asked her, an innocent smile playing on his lips, if she'd enjoyed her shower, but that may have been because Dromeda kicked her under the table.

When all the pasta had been eaten, flicked at someone or used as dominoes, Andromeda was desperately thinking of how to frame the mess on Bellatrix when their parents returned, even though she'd been put in charge. When it came to the dessert, Sirius and Regulus both sat up straighter, or rather, Regulus tried to it up straighter, but the many books he was sitting on slipped, and he fell on the floor.

Andromeda was confused; she hadn't said anything about pudding. When Bella came back in, carrying a chocolate cake the size of a Quaffle, the two boys cheered. They were both given huge slices, enough for three each, and they scoffed it down, getting chocolate icing everywhere. Their hands were caked in the stuff, their t-shirts and trousers not much better. Miraculously, they'd managed to keep their faces clean.

Just as they were about to finish, Bella leant over the table. "Hey, Siri, Reg…" She said, grinning. "Bella says, put your hands on your head."

Her cousins, laughing, obeyed, and soon their heads were covered in sticky icing too. Bella sat back in her seat, a satisfied smirk on her lips.

"Well, that was clever, Bells!" Dromeda snapped. "Now look at them! It's all over them!" Bella just shrugged and smirked at Andromeda's angry face. "Come on you two. Bathtime."

Sirius' eyes widened as he heard the dreaded word. _Bath. _Sirius did not like baths. Both smirking at Sirius' terrified expression, Bellatrix and Narcissa slapped a hi-five under the table.

I'm not so sure I'm happy with this chapter. I had loads of information that I had to get in, and I'm not sure how it turned out. Review your opinion!

Basically, the Blacks are stuck with no House-Elf and no magic, like (dare I say it?) MUGGLES!! –gasps-

Ellie xxxx


	4. Bathtime

**Hey! Here's the newest chapter of Babysitting. I would have posted this yesterday, but my mum came in just as I was about to and screamed at me to get of the laptop. So, it's up today. Oh, quit whining, you got your update!! :D Hope you enjoy it!**

**I am not JKR. If you think that, you have drunk wayyyy too much Firewhisky, man.**

**Oh, yeah, I'm thinking of knocking this story up to 20 chapters, instead of 15. Do you think that would be good?**

**Anyway, enough ramble, on with the Fanficcy!**

Chapter 4

"I'M NOT HAVING A BATH! NEVER, EVER, EVER!! AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" Sirius screamed as he lay on the floor, arms and legs flying in a Bellatrix-worthy temper tantrum. The three Black sisters looked at him, identical expressions of disbelief etched on their faces. Regulus slipped one of his hands, the one holding his Blankie, into Bella's, and the other, with the wet thumb, into Cissa's. The blonde looked down at his spit-covered thumb in her palm and, making a face equal to someone who's forced to eat Bulbertuber pus, snatched her hand away and wiped it on Dromeda. The five-year-old, looking hurt, slipped his thumb back into his mouth and shuffled closer to Bella, mimicking her unimpressed expression as he looked down at his older brother.

"Sirius," Andromeda shouted over his screams, "Sirius, you are _having _a bath, no question. Now, are you going to do it the easy way, or the hard way?"

Sirius only screamed louder. Dromeda sighed. "Cissy, can you take care of Regulus? You could use the other bathroom downstairs?"

Cissa glared down at Regulus for a minute, who just looked up at her with wide, innocent eyes. "Stupid thumb-sucker…" She muttered, picking him up. "Come on." Regulus let go of Bella's hand, still holding Blankie, and let himself be taken downstairs, a scowl on his face.

"Bella," Dromeda yelled over Sirius' increasing screams. "You take care of Sirius. I'll be downstairs cleaning up the mess."

Bella nodded, and when her sister had left, she knelt down next to Sirius, one eyebrow raised. After about five minutes of this, Sirius stopped pounding the floor and looked up at her, scowling in exactly the same way as his brother had moments before. "What, Trixibell?"

Bella shifted so she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, ignoring the fact he'd used the name she hated. "Can you just grow up?"

Sirius stared at her, his arms flopping on the floor. "I don't want a bath." He said finally.

"I can tell…" Bella muttered. "And I don't care. You're having a bath."

"No I'm not."

"Sirius, you are. Stop arguing."

Sirius stuck his tongue out. Bellatrix just raised a dark eyebrow. Sirius looked at her, seeing an opportunity. "Trix- _Bella…_" He said, his voice as cute as could be, although Bella was buying none of that. "_If_ I have a bath, can I have another bit of chocolate cake?"

Bella's answer came straight away. "No."

Sirius started screaming again. Bella's face contorted; she was having a mental battle with herself. Sighing, she made her decision. "Alright, alright, you can have your stupid cake!"

"And eat it?" Sirius put in annoyingly.

Bella glared at him, slinging him over her shoulder and standing up. She strode to the many taps running along the size of the swimming pool sized bath, turning them so normal, clear water gushed out. Sirius didn't reply, only wriggled slightly. Bella sat him on the edge of the bath, and he watched the water intently.

"Purple." He demanded.

"I'm sorry?" Bella asked.

"Purple. I want purple water. Please." He said, reaching out for the purple tap.

Bella slapped his hand away and turned it on herself, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth when Sirius clapped loudly, reaching out to pop the huge bubbles. She switched a few more taps on, smiling properly as her cousin laughed in delight. There was one that spouted water that looked so much like chocolate they both tried it, but it tasted like bubblebath. Another made huge green bubbles that formed into soapy bubble-animals, which ran over the water. Sirius took a great liking to a big dog, but when he tried to stroke it, it burst. Bella snorted with laughter, so he hit her with his towel.

--

Downstairs, in a bathroom equally as big as the one Sirius was in, Regulus was sitting in the sink as Narcissa filled up the bath for him. Yellow steam flowed to the ceiling, where it crackled into little pink and green fireworks. Regulus gasped every time a new firework came, and it was getting on Cissa's nerves. She turned and walked over to him, fishing him out of the sink and settling him on her hip. He looked at the half-filled rainbow-coloured bath, clapping his hands happily. He then pointed to a tap on the side of the bath. "What does that one do?" He asked, tugging her long blonde hair. She knelt down, setting him on his feet, and smiled, turning the tap on.

Huge blue ribbons of water spilled out into the bath, changing to red as they hit the steaming water. He pointed to another tap, and she turned it, causing a fountain to set off in the middle of the humongous bath.

Soon, that room, too, was full of giggles and coloured smoke. A huge rainbow formed over their heads; leprechaun gold at the end. Narcissa tested the bath water to check that it wasn't too hot, and gestured that her baby cousin could get in. In thanks, Regulus put his Blankie on Cissa's head, smiling at her as if it were the greatest honour possible.

--

Andromeda stomped down the stairs, into the hallway. She stopped at the door, surveying the mess. There was a huge bloodstain down the wall from where Bella had cracked her head open against it; the carpet underneath the door was sopping wet, three shades darker with water.

When she walked into the dining room, things weren't much better. The pot plant was overflowing with tomatoes from where Regulus had tried to hide them. Dromeda took a deep breath, and turned back out of the room. She'd tidy it later…

--

"Are you happy now?" Bella, kneeling by the taps, snapped exasperatedly at her cousin, who'd spent the last fifteen minutes demanding every colour that was in the rainbow (and some colours that weren't), forcing Bella to the end of her tether.

Sirius tilted his head to the side, as if pondering this question. "I think so, Trixibell." Then, ever so slowly, he pulled off one of his socks.

"Oh, please don't tell me you have a toe ritual too!" Bella groaned. Sirius just shook his head at her. He slipped his leg over the edge of the bath, dipping his big toe in the water experimentally. He took it out and pretended to think for a moment more. Bella groaned and lent against the wall, wondering if Cissa or Dromeda would swap jobs with her. Why was she landed with the most annoying one, who happened to be the one who also loved driving her up the wall? Closing her eyes, she imagined a happy place, a Sirius-free place, until he clearing his throat brought her back to a Sirius-filled reality. He smiled at her as if her were a proud father, and patted her on the head. She raised an eyebrow. "Good Trixie." He whispered, before turning around and starting to strip off. Bella smacked her head against the wall.

--

Regulus leapt into the water, covering his cousin in soapy bubbles. She laughed, wiping the suds off her face and flicking hem back at him. He grabbed two handfuls of bubblebath and clapped his hands hard, sending the bubbles high into the air like snow. "It's snowing Cissy!" He giggled. "And you… are Father Christmas!" He laughed, picking up more bubbles and wiping them on Narcissa's chin. She made a face.

"Reggie!" She moaned, picking up a towel and scrubbing the soap from her face. "You can be Santa!"

Regulus looked ecstatic at this idea, and immediately began piling bubblebath on his face. He looked up, smiling broadly, until he breathed through his nose too heavily. He stared coughing loudly, wiping off the bubble-beard as he did so. Narcissa patted him on the back hard. When he'd stopped choking to death, he looked back at her and sniffed loudly, testifying his nose was bubble-free again. She laughed. "Come on, you, let's start with your hair." He nodded, taking a deep breath and diving under the water.

He came up a few seconds later, hair shining with the many different types of water in the bathtub. Narcissa laughed when he did, swirling her hand around in the multicoloured water, creating a kaleidoscope of colours.

--

"Sirius, just GET IN THE BATH!!"

"But _Trixie…_" The naked seven-year old whined at his older cousin, who was trying to look anywhere but at him.

"Shut up! Don't call me that!!"

"But it's your name!!"

"NO IT'S NOT!!" Bella screamed. Growling slightly, she turned and picked him up, ignoring his screams and the fact that he was pounding her back with clenched fists. She turned towards the swimming pool sized bath and threw him in.

The boy disappeared under the water, and stayed there. Bella's black eyes widened, and she bit her lip. _Walburga's going to kill me if he's hurt…_ She thought, looking around uselessly.

Suddenly, a black-haired head erupted from the rainbow water. A grin plastered across his features, Sirius doggy-paddled to the side and clung on to it. "Wow, Trixibells, that was fun. Can you do it again?"

Bella glared at him, plonking onto the closed toilet seat next to the bath. "Siri, just… have a bath…" She muttered.

"Fine." The younger muttered, diving back into the water again.

Bellatrix massaged her temples. She had a feeling that this night was only going to get worse…

--

"Cissy, what does this do?" Regulus asked his blonde cousin, holding out a bottle of shampoo.

Narcissa glanced at the label. "It's shampoo, Reggie. It makes your hair clean."

Regulus' hazel eyes widen in fear at the word 'clean', and Cissa held back a laugh. He was so like his brother. Throwing it across the room with surprising force for a five-year-old, Regulus glared at it.

"Your hair could do with a wash, Reggie…" She muttered, running her hand through his dark hair. He shrunk away when she said it, shaking his head vigorously. She rolled her eyes. "You are far too much like Sirius, Reggie."

Regulus looked confused, trying to work out whether this was a compliment or not. Narcissa laughed out loud at his face, before ruffling his sopping wet hair.

"Come on, Reg, let's get this hair washed…"

Regulus scowled for a minute, his resemblance to Sirius suddenly striking, before muttering, "Fine!" under his breath, slumping back against the side of the bath. Narcissa grinned, and fetched the shampoo from the other side of the room.

She squirted half the bottle onto her cousin's wet head, and started washing the greasy mop.

--

"Bella?" Sirius asked as he watched his eldest cousin fiddle with her hair in front of the mirror.

"What?" Bellatrix replied, bored.

"Nothing." Sirius said, and doggy-paddled to the far side of the bathtub.

Bella glared at him, and walked to the door. "Urgh. I can't stand you anymore, Siri. I'm gonna go get Drom. You like her better."

Sirius shrugged, as if this were a fair comment, and watched her stalk down the corridor, before giving himself an Afro of bath bubbles.

--

Andromeda was sitting on the sofa reading when her older sister walked in. She stood up immediately; stashing the book under the sofa she had just been sitting on.

"What happened to _'cleaning up the mess'_?" Bella accused, glaring at the brunette.

"I-I, err… what happened to bathing Sirius?" Dromeda snapped back, hands on hips.

"He's annoying. It's your turn now." Bella said, fiddling with the silver ornamental clock that sat, ticking away, on the mantelpiece that she was now leaning against.

Andromeda rolled her eyes at her sister's response. "Fine. But you have to go and check on Cissy and Reg."

Bellatrix locked eyes with her sister, glaring. "No I don't." She said slowly.

"Yes, you do. I'm in charge. And I say you do."

A quiet _snap_ echoed around the room; Bellatrix had just broken the clock, she was so angry. Pretending it didn't happen, the raven-haired girl sauntered over to her sister, leaning in close as she hissed, "And _I_ don't need a wand to cause you great pain, Andromeda."

The younger stepped back, scared against her will, and Bellatrix smirked, standing up straight. Dromeda regained her confidence. "Go check on Regulus and Cissa, like I asked, Bella."

The arrogant grin, that was so similar to Sirius', slid off Bellatrix's beautiful face at her little sister's reply. "You know what, Drom? I will. Not because you told me to. Because I want to." And with that, she turned on her heel and strode towards one of the doors.

Andromeda sighed, shaking her head slightly. "They're _that_ way, Bella." She said, pointing to a door over the other side of the room to Bellatrix.

Bella glared once more at her sister, before turning and walking to the other door, and slamming it shut behind her as she walked out.

--

Sirius slipped out of the bathtub as soon as Bellatrix was out of earshot. He pulled his special stool out from underneath the sink, and dragged it to the mirror. Jumping up on it, the seven-year-old opened his eyes wide. He'd learnt this trick years ago, and sure enough, his eyes were watering. A few more minutes of this, and he'd look like all the tragedies in the world happened to him.

When he heard Andromeda coming up the stairs, he kicked the stool back into place, and leap into the bathtub.

The door creaked open, and he turned his back. "Siri, you ok?" Came Dromeda's voice.

Sirius turned to face her, eyes red and blotchy from fake crying. He sniffed. "Bella hurt me." He said meekly.

Dromeda ran over to the side of the tub and pulled him into a hug. "Shh, it's ok. I'm here. What did she do?"

Sirius only shook his head, as if he couldn't say it, and his cousin hugged him tighter. He stifled a laugh; he was too good at this. Only Bella didn't fall for it, and that was because she had used exactly the same tricks when she was his age, and older.

He giggled slightly when Dromeda told him she'd yell at Bella for him, but managed to turn it into a sob before she realised.

--

"Cissy, why are you plaiting my hair? I thought only girls had plaited hair." Regulus whined ad Narcissa tugged at his hair.

"Boys can have plaited hair too." Narcissa said fairly, tying another multi-coloured ribbon at the end of his fifth plait.

"But Sirius laughed at me last time you did my hair like this."

"Sirius is an idiot."

"Bella laughed to."

"She's an even bigger idiot."

"Oh," Was all Regulus answered as the blonde started on a new plait, this time threaded with beads.

They sat in silence for a while, until Regulus reached out to grab a bottle on the side of the bath. "Le… le am- le amour…" He said, trying to read the label. "Cissa, what does this say?"

Narcissa's blue eyes ran over the bottle. "I don't know. It's in French."

Regulus giggled, and, in the childish way that all five-year-olds posses, he turned around and squirted almost the entire contents of the bottle onto Narcissa's blonde hair.

--

"_Bella do this… Bella do that…I'm in charge, Bella, not you…_" Bellatrix said in a mock-baby voice as she strode towards the bathroom where Narcissa was meant to be bathing Regulus. "God, she's just as bad as Mother. I have a say too, you know!" Bella raged, in half a mind to go back to Andromeda and show her that no matter _what_ Mother said, Bellatrix was sill the most powerful.

But suddenly, Narcissa's scream jolted her from her thoughts. Bellatrix hurried down the corridor, and, just as she swung around the final corner, Regulus came hurtling through the air, and she caught him. A towel came soon after.

Regulus looked at her and patted her ear, before gasping and staring at his toes. Bella rolled her eyes, and wrapping him up in his towel, she all but dropped him on the floor.

She walked to the door of the bathroom, where she saw her sister lying facedown on the tiled floor, head and hair covered by another towel.

"Narcissa, I do believe you just threw our cousin at me. What on Earth did I ever do o make you that angry?" Bella asked, leaning against the doorframe with a smile playing on her lips.

"It wasn't you. It was Regulus." Narcissa murmured, her voice muffled by the floor.

"Oh. What did he do?" Bellatrix sat on the floor next to Narcissa and made to pull the towel covering her hair off. Cissa clutched at it. "Cissy, what on earth…?"

The younger sighed. "He squirted me with some special shampoo to make your hair go all… erm… Ok, Bells, I'll show you, but you must promise not to laugh."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, just…" With that, Bellatrix pulled the towel off, revealing Narcissa's hair.

It was still blonde, but the enviable straightness had gone. Instead, her hair was frizzy, worse than the eldest Black sister's by far. There was no hint of curls, just crinkled frizzes. Cissa looked up at her sister.

Bellatrix burst out laughing. Narcissa looked hurt. "Bella!" She whined. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"You laugh at my hair every morning when I wake up. I think I'm allowed this one-off time." Bella said through her laughter. Catching her sister's tearful gaze, though, she sighed and grabbed the younger's hand, pulling her upright. "Come on. I've got some Sleekeazy's you can borrow."

Grabbing the towel to cover her head, Narcissa followed Bella out of the room, stepping over Regulus.

Once they were in Bella's huge room, Cissa flopped down on the huge bed. Bella knelt down and pulled a large box from underneath the four-poster. It was full to the brim with hair products, mainly Sleekeazy's. The elder grabbed one and dunked the whole lot on Narcissa's head, and began brushing it.

Cissa prodded the box with her foot. "Where do you get all this stuff, Bells?"

Bellatrix grinned slightly as Narcissa's hair began to return to its normal straight fashion. "Do you really think with hair like mine I haven't found some good hair products?"

**JADE, YOU CANNOT SAY THAT I AM BEING MEAN TO CISSA! YOU ****SUGGESTED**** THE FRIZZY HAIR THING!!**

**-cough- Sorry about that…**

**Yeah, Siri fakes crying to get Bella into trouble. :D I can just see that… And I'm not saying Drom is a gullible idiot, but this is Sirius! He takes puppy-dog eyes to a whole new level… -hint-hint-**

**Drop a review and tell me what you think!**

**Ellie xxxx**


	5. Makeovers

**Heya! **

**So, the newest chapter of Babysitting is here. I have to say, this is turning out to be my favourite story to write. I love it. And I hope you're enjoying reading it, too. :D**

**I. Am. Not. JKR.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 5- Makeovers

Cissa sat still as her sister brushed her hair, letting her shockingly blue eyes travel around her sister's bedroom. It was messy, very messy. Clothes, pieces of parchment and schoolbooks lay forgotten, scattered around on the floor. The Narcissa noticed her bedside table, covered in make-up, mainly eyeliner and mascara. The blonde reached over and picked up a handful of the cosmetics.

"Do you own any makeup that _isn't _black?" She asked as she scanned the labels.

Bella chucked her hairbrush onto the floor next to her Advanced Transfiguration book carelessly. "Black suits me." She said simply, leaning back on the bedpost and grabbing a Witch Weekly from the floor.

"Almost _every_ colour suits you, Bells. Especially… pink." She hinted, grinning evilly at her sister.

Bella flicked through her magazine, looking up just to raise an eyebrow at Cissa. "I am _not_ wearing pink. Ever."

Narcissa shuffled down the bed so she was kneeling by her sister. "Bella…" She said, coiling one of Bella's jet-black curls around her finger.

"What?"

"Can I give you a makeover? Please?"

In an instant, Bella had jumped off the bed, away from Cissa. Her black eyes were wide with fear. "No." She hissed, and ran out the door.

Narcissa grinned evilly. This was going to be fun…

--

Andromeda wrapped a towel around her cousin's sopping wet body, and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. He shifted closer to her, making a small whimpering noise. She fell for it. "I'll tell Bella off, Siri, don't worry."

Sirius grinned into Dromeda's shoulder. This was too easy…

He choked back laughs as he changed into his pyjamas, which were dark green with a snitch on them. As his cousin ran a comb through his hair, fuming to herself at the many ways she wanted to hurt Bellatrix, he couldn't help but giggle slightly.

"Come on, Siri." Said Andromeda as she stood up straight and smiled down at him. He smiled weakly back at her, and clutched onto her hand, tugging at it. Dromeda picked him up as he wanted.

"Love you, Drom." He said babyishly, milking it for all it was worth as she settled him on her hip.

"Love you too, Siri."

"Hate you, Bella." He murmured, though nobody but Andromeda could hear him.

She laughed. "I'm pretty certain she hates you right back, Sirius."

They turned the corner and saw Regulus standing with his back to them, his white towel tied around his shoulders like a superhero's cape. At Dromeda's cry of, "Reggie?" he turned, and they could see that he wore nothing underneath.

"Do da dum dohoo!!" He sang, as if it were some sort of theme tune, and ran past them. Andromeda dropped Sirius and shouted after his little brother to come back, but Regulus had already streaked down the stairs and was sprinting through the hallway, his towel-cape flapping behind him, bearing his naked form to the world.

--

Bellatrix jumped the last few steps of the stairs in her frantic dash away from Narcissa. She skidded slightly on the floor, where wet Regulus-sized footprints covered the halls. "What the…?"

"Bell_aaaa_! Please! I won't hurt you… much." Came Narcissa's whine from upstairs.

Slipping and sliding across the wet floor, Bellatrix skidded through the door her mother had caught her eavesdropping at, and ran through the doorframe, throwing herself over the sofa. Scrambling to her feet again, Bella jumped over the coffee table and into the closet, slamming the door shut behind her. She was _not_ letting Narcissa anywhere near her face with makeup. She had all-too-bad memories of the last time that had happened…

Shifting a suitcase and one of her father's old cloaks, Bella leant against the wall, and waited.

--

"Drom! There you are! Have you seen Bella?" Cissa jumped the last few stairs and hurried over to her middle sister.

Andromeda looked up, smiling slightly. Sirius was holding her hand tightly as he tried to drag her off, but she wouldn't budge. "Come _on_, Drommie! We have to find the Frizzball so you can kill her!"

Dromeda pulled Sirius back to her side. "Siri, be patient. Hey Cissy."

Narcissa tilted her head to the side inquiringly. "You're going to kill Bella?"

Her sister nodded. "That was the plan. Why, are you?"  
Cissa grinned. "Actually, I was going to give her a makeover…"  
"Oh." Said the brunette. "Well, I was going to get a sword and kill her that way, but we could do it by makeover…"

The blonde sister laughed. "And I was going to treat you and the boys to a makeover too…" She said sweetly, twirling her blonde hair around her finger innocently. Andromeda's green eyes widened, and she subconsciously took a step back. Narcissa glared at her. "Drommie, we could do this the easy way or the hard way."

Dromeda thought for a moment, before sighing and saying, "Alright, alright. Help me find Bella and I'll let you give me a makeover. Deal?"

Narcissa grinned evilly again. "Deal." She agreed. "So, we now find Bella?"

"Yes, now we find Bella." Andromeda agreed. Sirius whooped and punched the air, shouting, "FIND THE FRIZZBALL!!" at the top of his lungs. The two girls grinned at each other before turning around and beginning their hunt through Black Manor for their elder sister.

--

Regulus skipped down the hallway, his towel flapping behind him. His hair, which was still sopping wet and tied in five little plaits with rainbow ties on the end thanks to Cissa, dripped onto the floor, leaving a trail of water on the polished marble. ""Do da dum dohoo!!" He was Super-Reg, ruler of the universe…

He ran through the doorway to the parlour. The parlour was Cygnus and Druella's private room; no one but they were allowed in it - so, naturally, Regulus went in. It was huge; leather sofas sat welcomingly around in a circle, the mahogany gold-lined bookcases stretched up to touch the decorated ceiling. "Woah…" whispered the five-year-old in awe. Jumping over to the huge fireplace that was atleast as tall as Bella, he craned his neck to look up. Moving black-and-white photographs of his cousins, surrounded by ornate silver frames, stood on the mantelpiece.

Regulus giggled, and leapt on the sofa, leaving wet footprints on the black leather as he bounced up and down. "Do da dum dohoo!!" With a final leap in the air, he jumped off the sofa and onto the floor, running out of the door again.

--

"Is she… in here?" Sirius said as he opened the cutlery drawer with a flourish.

"Sirius, last time I looked, Bella was not a spoon. Go check that chest by the window, will you?" Andromeda shut the wardrobe. Bella wasn't in there. She watched as her hyper cousin sprinted over to the chest and clambered onto it, jumping up and down. "FRIZZY! OH, TRIXIBELLS! GET OUT OF THERE!!" he yelled.

Andromeda rolled her eyes and walked over to him, grabbing him and unlocking the chest. It was empty. "See, Sirius?" She said.

"Woah…" He said, his eyes wide with awe. "The Frizzball can make herself invisible!"

Dromeda slammed the chest shut, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "I give up…" Shifting him on her hip, Andromeda walked out of the door, shutting it behind her.

The next room they searched was the sitting room Druella had been talking to Walburga in. Sirius wriggled until he was put down on the floor, and immediately flattened himself against the carpet to check under the sofa. "Hmmm, she really must show me how to do this invisible trick of hers…"

Andromeda strode over to the closet and put her hand on the handle. "Sirius, she does not turn invisible." She rolled her eyes and yanked open the door, and for the second time that evening, Bellatrix went sprawling on the floor. Andromeda turned back to Sirius. "See?" She said, waving her hand towards her elder sister. "She is not invisible!"

Bellatrix, who had taken Dromeda's hand gesture as an offer of help, grasped it and pulled herself to her feet. "Invisible?" She said inquiringly to her sister as she dusted herself off.

"Long story." Andromeda replied, folding her arms across her chest. "Cissa's looking for you, you know."

"I know," Bella nodded as she walked to the door. "Why do you think I was hiding?" And with that, she disappeared through the door.

--

Narcissa ran through the upstairs of the house, poking her head through every door in search of her newest victim. When she'd checked all the known hiding places upstairs, she slid down the banister and was just making her way across to the kitchen when she heard her name-

"Cissa's looking for you, you know." It was Dromeda. Who was she talking to…? Turning around, she saw Bella's back to her and heard the sixteen-year-old say, "Why do you think I was hiding?"

Narcissa placed her hands on her hips as Bellatrix turned around. The raven-haired girl didn't see her sister straight away, and Narcissa had to cough loudly to attract her attention. Bella whirled round. "Cissy!" She said, her eyes wide.

"Bella." The younger countered. When Bellatrix didn't reply, Cissa took a step forward. "Hiding from me, were you? Not very mature."

Bellatrix, who had taken a step back when her sister came closer, opened her mouth, and then shut it, looking very much like a goldfish. "C-Cissy…" She said when she found her voice.

"Yes, well done, you know my name. Now come on, I do believe you owe me a makeover."

"No I don't." Bella said, shuffling away.

"Ok, fine, you don't _owe_ me one… but I want to give you one. Now stop acting like Sirius when he's seen soap and come over here!" Narcissa said impatiently.

"Never!" Bella whispered, before turning on her heel and sprinting away. Narcissa rolled her eyes, and followed.

Bellatrix took the stairs two at a time, and turned left at the top. She could hear Cissa behind her, and practically dived into the bathroom, just in time. She turned the lock and slumped against the wood, breathing heavily. That was close.

Narcissa skidded to a halt outside the bathroom door. She could see it was locked; there was no point in trying to open it. Sighing loudly, she turned and stalked away. Just when she was passing the junk room, however, something else caught her eye. She half-walked, half-ran over to it, and picked it up. "Oh, you're gonna get it now, Trixibells…" She said, swinging the baseball bat experimentally as she did.

--

A cry of "Do da dum dohoo!!" echoed through the Manor loudly. Dromeda and Sirius looked up when they heard it, Sirius narrowing his eyes and muttering, "Turnip Head!" under his breath. Andromeda stood up, and walked around he sofa on which she'd been sitting, and stepped out of the doorframe, just in time for Regulus to run straight into her stomach.

"_Oof!_" Andromeda bent over double. Regulus looked at her, his head tilted to one side, the five plaits flopping about. Andromeda took a few deep breaths, and stood up straight again, looking down at her youngest cousin. "Regulus, why are you wearing nothing but a towel?" She asked, averting her eyes.

Regulus shrugged. His cousin rolled her eyes and picked him up, wrapping him securely in his towel and beckoning Sirius over. "C'mon, Reggie, lets get you dressed." She said. Sirius grabbed her other hand.

Once Regulus was dressed in his pyjamas (red with a Bludger on the front), Andromeda sat back on the bed and closed her eyes. Immediately, her two cousins had thrown themselves into her lap. "Ouch!" She protested, her eyes snapping open again, but they just giggled.

--

There was silence on the other side of the door. Bellatrix took a deep breath. Still silence. Then, ever so slowly, she unlocked the door. The click of the lock reverberated around the room, but there was still silence. Bellatrix opened the door. Poking her head out, she looked to the left, and then to the right. No one was around. Breathing a sight of relief, Bella stepped out. She hurried down the corridor, and turned down the stairs. When she reached the bottom, a creaking noise came from the kitchen. She froze, and heard a singsong voice from right behind her say,

"Oh, Bella…"

Whirling around in horror, Bellatrix caught one glimpse of Narcissa standing on the first step up, holding a baseball bat in the ready position, before there was a blinding pain, and blackness.

--

Andromeda looked up when she heard a noise like someone being dragged across the floor coming from the corridor. She sat forward, and shifted her cousins off her lap, walking towards the door. When she reached it, she looked out to see Narcissa holding both of Bellatrix's ankles and dragging her across the floor. As they got nearer, Dromeda could see the huge purple bruise already forming on one side of her unconscious sister's forehead. She winced at the sight of it.

When she was level with her middle sister, Narcissa unceremoniously dropped Bella's ankles to the floor. "Well, Drom," the blonde said, smiling in a satisfied way, "You said that if I find Bella, I could give you a makeover. And here she is. The knocking out comes with the package, I'm afraid."

Andromeda laughed. "Alright, alright, I guess I did. Why did you knock her out, again?"

"Eh. She didn't want a makeover." Narcissa sent a warning look a Dromeda as she said this, before picking up Bella's ankles again and dragging her to the youngest Black sister's room. Andromeda gulped, and followed her; Regulus and Sirius trailing close behind.

--

Cissa yanked the rope once more, making sure Bella was tied firmly to the post of her four-poster bed, and sat back, admiring her work. They were in Narcissa's room, Bella still unconscious. Andromeda, sitting against the wall, laughed. "That was a good idea, actually, Cissa. It would be hard getting all that makeup on her when she's awake." She nodded to the huge box of makeup that was sitting in between them, their cousins going through it.

Narcissa looked confused. "Huh? Oh, no, Drom, I'm going to wait until she wakes up to do her makeup. That's why I tied her up, you see. I'm saving the best 'til last."

Andromeda raised her eyebrows. "Oh." She said. The blonde sister grinned at her.

Sirius held out a stick of makeup to his cousin. "What does this do, Cissy?" He asked.

She reached over and took the makeup from him, reading the label. "It's concealer." She said, before looking over at Bella again. The elder's head slumped sideways, against the end board of Cissa's bed. "We'll need that for Bella's bruise…" She mused quietly. Then she shrugged, "Ah, well. Who wants to go first?" She asked happily. Andromeda shrunk down slightly.

"Me!!" Came Sirius' yell.

Narcissa smiled at him. "Alright, Siri, come here." She said. Sirius obediently bounced over to her and plonked himself down in her lap. "I think…" She thought aloud, tilting his face different ways and examining it from all angles. "Purple. Yes, purple is definitely your colour, Siri." And with that, she picked up the purple eyeshadow, and set to work.

After ten minutes of the occasional "Keep _still_, Sirius!" or "Yes, that works…" or "No, I don't like that", Narcissa put down the foundation and inspected her work of art. Sirius was now wearing foundation, bronzer, rouge, concealer, eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, lipstick, lipgloss, lipliner and some other things Narcissa had found that she didn't know the name of but liked the look of and used anyway.

She whirled him around, so her sister and other cousin could see her 'creation'. Regulus grinned, and immediately claimed that _he_ wanted one, too, while Andromeda clapped her hands over her mouth, laughing, and said, "Oh, my God, Cissy! He looks like a girl!"

"I know. He looks lovely." Narcissa smiled down at him and kissed the top of his head. He smiled back from where he was looking at his newly transformed face in the small handheld mirror.

"Thank you, Cissy." He said politely, before returning his attention to the mirror.

"It's my pleasure, Siri. Reggie, are you next?"

"YEAH!!" Regulus screamed, and leapt over to her. After proclaiming that Regulus' colour was definitely dark blue, she proceeded to put him through the same torture as she had with Sirius.

Andromeda coughed slightly, and stood up ever so slowly. However, it didn't go unnoticed by her sister. "Andromeda, don't even think of trying to escape, or you'll end up with her." She jerked her head towards Bella, whose head was lolling back against the bedpost, the huge purple bruise blossoming on her temple. Dromeda slumped down the wall again.

After ten more minutes, Regulus was done and dusted. He went and joined his brother in front of the mirror.

Narcissa shuffled over to her middle sister, dragging the makeup box with her. "C'mon, Drommie, your turn now." She said, grinning evilly. Dromeda knew it was best not to fight, so she sat still and Cissa probed her face. "Green." She said finally. "Yes, definitely green. It sets off your eyes and goes with your hair. Now, is it like a _bottle_ green, or more of a _jade_ green? Hmm…"

Once Narcissa had decided on a colour ("I know! _Apple_ green! Why didn't I think of that before?"), she started with the foundation ("Damn! This colour is too pale! Why do you have such rosy cheeks? Grrr… ooh, this might be better…") and then everything else.

After what was probably the longest ten minutes of Andromeda's life, Cissa sat back and handed her the mirror. Sirius and Regulus went "Hey!" at their mirror being taken away from them. Dromeda had to hand it to Narcissa – she did look amazing. Knowing from her sister's face what she was thinking, she grinned. "You're welcome." She said.

Behind her, Bellatrix began to stir. "Just on time, Trixibells." Said Narcissa as she crawled over, dragging the box as well, to sit in her eldest sister's lap.

Bella's eyes shot open, and she looked around, before- "Ah – _ow_ my head! Ow, ow, ow… what the…?" Her eyes rested on the boys, who were posing in the mirror again, Dromeda, who shrugged at her as if to say, "Sorry", and Narcissa, who, sitting in her lap, was opening the foundation. "Oh, God no, Cissa… please… Drom, say she didn't… and a baseball bat? You knocked me out with a _baseball bat_, Cissy? Why? And now you've tied me up? Why am I tied up? Untie me now!"

Narcissa shrugged. "I_ always_ get what I want. You just chose the hard way of giving it to me. Now, Bella, your colour is…"

"How about purple, to match my bruise?" Bella snapped.

"No, no, Sirius has purple. And besides, purple would make your eyes look flat and dead. No, I think… pink."

Bella's jaw dropped. "_Pink_? Cissy, I don't wear pink… isn't the baseball bat enough? Do you have to torture me this way, too?"

"Yes. Now sit still, you have a huge bruise on your head-"

"Oh, I wonder why!"

"Shut up. I need to put concealer on it. Now stay still, or this will hurt."  
"Cissy, don't you d-" Bella started, moving her head away. Her sister grabbed a fistful of her tangled curls and jabbed the huge bruise on her temple harder than necessary with the concealer stick. "OW!!"

"Well I did tell you to stay still." Narcissa said fairly, smoothing the concealer down gently.

"Narcissa, when I get untied, you are dead. I will kill you. And then, I'll bring you back to life, and then I'll kill you again, and then I'll-"

"I'm sure you will, Bella. But for now, sit still so I can do your makeup. Atleast you'll be pretty when you're given a life sentence in Azkaban for my murder. And my resurrection, and re-murder, and whatever else your twisted little mind is currently planning, which I'm sure is very inventive."

Andromeda laughed.

After twenty minutes of struggles, death threats and Chinese burns, Bellatrix's makeup was done. She would have looked stunningly beautiful if it weren't for the fact that she was snarling insanely at Narcissa. "_There_." The blonde said, satisfied at last. "That wasn't too bad, was it?"

"Narcissa. Let me go, NOW!!" Bella demanded, tugging on the ropes around her wrists that bound her to the bedposts.

Andromeda noticed the look on her baby sister's face. "Cissy, you didn't think of how you'd escape at this point, did you?"

Narcissa shook her head frantically. "I- I thought she'd, y'know-"

"There you go, Bella!" Came Regulus' voice, cutting her off. The others looked round to see Regulus holding the length of rope with nothing attached to it. Narcissa gulped.

"_Now_," Bellatrix whispered menacingly in her youngest sister's ear. "I do believe I owe _someone _a murder. And a resurrection, and a re-murder, and whatever else my _twisted little mind _is currently planning, which certainly _is_ very inventive."

Narcissa screamed, jumping to her feet and sprinting out of the door as if her life depended on it (which it probably did), Bellatrix following hot on her heels.

Regulus dropped the rope and yawned widely. "Drommie…" He whined, walking over to her. "I'm tired."

She picked him up and got to her feet. "Come on then." She said, kissing his forehead. "Lets get you two to bed."

Sirius took hold of her hand again and followed. "Can I have a bedtime story?" He asked amidst Bellatrix's enraged screams and Narcissa's pleas for mercy that filled the Manor.

**This has got to be the longest chapter of Babysitting I've ever written. ****7 PAGES!!**** I know!! I think it's the best so far, though.**

**Reviews will be loved.**

**Ellie xxxx**


	6. Bedtime Stories

**Salutations.**

'**Tis me, as you have probably guessed. I come bearing gifts – the next chappie of Babysitting. WoopWoop.**

**My initials are EMF. Not JKR.**

**I'm not so sure if I'm happy with this chapter. Had MEGA writer's block. Sorry…**

**But, yeah, tell me if it sucks. In a review. I like reviews. Yes I do.**

**Enjoy!!**

Chapter 6- Bedtime Stories

"Come on, you two. Get into bed and I'll read you a story." Andromeda smiled and pulled back the covers on one of the beds in the guest room. Regulus obediently scrambled onto the bed, clutching Blankie and sucking his thumb, and let his cousin tuck him in. She kissed his forehead.

Turning around to her other cousin, who was looking through an old photo album, she pointed to the other bed. "Siri, your bed's over there."

He looked up, frowning in a comically serious way for a seven-year-old. Slowly, he made his way over to the bed and clambered on, standing up. Andromeda opened her mouth, but her little cousin held up a finger, and bent his knees as if preparing to jump of a high diving board. Then, after a few tense seconds, he leapt three feet in the air, landed heavily on his feet, and proceeded to do a series of what was either a stunning display of gymnastics or the result of what happens if you give a seven-year-old chocolate cake.

After five minutes, Sirius eventually stopped and fell flat on his face, breathing heavily. Andromeda stared at him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Regulus re-start his toe ritual, but she ignored him. Suddenly, Sirius was sitting up, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed. He looked up at his bewildered cousin. "This bed isn't working for me." He said, swinging his legs.

"Huh?" She said, confused.

"This bed isn't working for me." He repeated, tilting his head to the side.

"Err…" Dromeda was lost for words.

Sirius didn't wait for her to get a coherent sentence out. He had sprung off the bad, skipped over to the other one to smack Regulus (who was putting his socks back on) over the head, and walked out, little brother in tow. His cousin stood in the room alone for a few seconds, before spinning on her heel and running after them

She found Sirius two door down. His head was just at the height of the door handle on a plain wooden door, so he reached out and swung it open, sticking his head in. It was a broom cupboard.

With an angry humph, he moved on to the next door – Narcissa's room. Andromeda followed, unsure of what he was doing or what she should do. Regulus slipped his hand into hers, sucking the thumb of the other hand as he looked up at her. She smiled down at him, leaning down to pick him up.

"YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE, NARCISSA!!" Came a scream from down the corridor. Snapping her head round, Dromeda caught only a glimpse of straight blonde hair flashing past her, before a door slammed shut somewhere down the corridor.

A second later, the eldest Black sister skidded to a halt next to her two bewildered cousins. "Hi." She said breathlessly. "Have you seen Cissy anywhere?"

The younger sister gestured wildly down the corridor. "She ran screaming somewhere down there. Don't hurt her, Bells."

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow and pointed to her face incredulously. "Have you seen what she's done to my face?"

"It does actually look really nice." Andromeda said honestly.

Bella glared insanely at her, making her sister shrink back and mumble something along the lines of 'sorry, Bella'. Bellatrix smiled, satisfied, before tearing off the corridor, yanking open every door until a terrified scream told her she had found the person she was looking for.

Andromeda looked round at the sound of a door closing. Sirius looked up at her, smiling sweetly. "Not that room." He said, pointing to the door of Cissa's bedroom. "It's too… fussy."

Dromeda couldn't disagree with that. Narcissa did like everything to be perfect. That was exactly one of the reasons why she and Bellatrix didn't get on. Bella liked chaos, lots of it, and her room reflected that.

Sirius continued along the corridor, until he reached he next door – the one leading to Andromeda's room. Opening the door, he stuck his head in, before concluding, "Nope. Too tidy."

He skipped down to the next room: Bella's. Kicking open the door, he grinned. "Perfect!" He said.

Wading through the piles of clothes, schoolbooks and what looked like a voodoo doll with numerous pins sticking out of its head and chest, Sirius made his way over to Bella's huge double bed. Hoisting himself up onto the bed, he scrambled under the covers and settled down. Once Andromeda reached the bed, Regulus slipped off of her hip and sat down next to his brother, dragging the covers over his legs and sticking his thumb back into his mouth.

Dromeda pinched the bridge of her nose. "She's gonna flip, Siri…"

"I know." He said, grinning mischievously as he whacked Bella's pillow into a more comfortable shape, before leaning back on it.

Andromeda opened her mouth to retaliate, but she was cut off by a high-pitched scream. Narcissa flew into the room and threw herself at her other sister. "Drommie… Bella's gone insane…"

"What do you mean, gone?" Andromeda smiled at her little sister.

Narcissa was about to reply, when something – someone – smacked into her from the side, knocking her over. Andromeda bent down and fisted her hand in Bella's mane of curls, yanking upwards.

The sixteen-year-old glared at her sister manically, but her sister just yanked her hair again for good measure, pulling ou a few strands as she did so.

"_What_ was that for, Andromeda?" Bella demanded.

Dromeda shrugged. "I can think of a few things, Bells…"

Bellatrix opened her mouth to retaliate, but her dark eyes fell on her cousins. She shut them quickly. "Dromeda… I want to know why they are in my bed. And when I open my eyes, they will be gone, unless you want to share Narcissa's painful death."

Nobody moved, except Cissa, who had scrambled to her feet, glad that her psychotic sister's fury was directed at someone other than her.

Bella opened her eyes and looked at her bed, where both of her cousins sat looking at her confusedly. She snarled in a slightly animalistic way, and started towards them, but Andromeda grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Bella, leave it. When they fall asleep, we'll move them into another room."

"You'd better." The elder snarled, her eyes narrowing dangerously. Turning on her heel, she stalked over to her bedside table, and grabbed some makeup remover and her concealer. After the wipe turned pink from the amount of pink makeup she was wearing, she threw it at Narcissa and grabbed another one.

When she started to reapply the concealer to her bruise, Cissa spoke up. "Bella! I put concealer on you! What on earth did you take it off for if you're just going to put it back on again?"

"You used the wrong shade." Her sister said in a bored voice, though something in it suggested that she loved picking at her sister's faults. "It was too pale. You made me look dead."

"Oh, well excuse my wishful thinking!" Narcissa snapped, sitting down on the bed and luckily missing her sister's glare.

Dromeda sighed at her sisters' actions, and turned to the boys. Sirius sat up straighter. "Drommie, can I have a bedtime story please?" He asked.

"Yeah, ok…" She said, turning to Bella's bookcase. Running her finger along the spines of the books as she scanned the titles, her brows creased into a frown. Suddenly she frowned, picking up one old leather-bound book. "_Romeo and Juliet_? What's this all about, Bella?" She asked, flicking through the yellowing pages.

Bellatrix grabbed the book out of her hands. "Nothing." She said, far too quickly. When Andromeda raised an eyebrow at her questioningly, she leaned forward and grabbed another book that looked like it hadn't been opened for about a decade off the shelf. "Here. Read them a stupid fairytale, why don't you?" She snapped.

Dromeda grinned. Bella was hiding something, so naturally, she would find out what it was. But for now, she pulled up the chair from her sister's desk, sat down and opened the book. Taking a deep breath, she started reading. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess-"

Before she could say anymore, Narcissa jumped up, shouting, "THAT'S ME!!"

Andromeda looked baffled. "Err, ok then… so, yeah, there once was a beautiful princess – _yes, I get it, Cissy, it's you_ – who lived in the tower, because she had been captured by the evil, ugly hag-"

Again, Cissa jumped up, this time pointing at Bellatrix. "THAT'S BELLA!!"

Bella snarled, dropping her book and lunging at her baby sister. Narcissa screamed, bringing her arms up to shield herself as her sister flew at her. They fell to the floor with a crash, and the sounds of kicks, punches, screams and slaps filled the room.

"You stupid psycho…"

"Call that a punch, Narcissa? That was pathetic…"

"OW! No pinching!!"

"_Don't_ call me an evil ugly hag, then…"

"That was the worst slap ever, Bells…"

"Shut up, you stupid little…"

Andromeda sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose again. Then, all the while trying to block out the 'background noise', she carried on reading. "And so, the beautiful princess wanted nothing more than to escape the evil hag…" She trailed off, thinking how appropriate that was. Right now it _did _seem like Cissa wanted to get away from Bellatrix…

With a sigh, she shut the book and marched over to her sisters. "Will you two just _shut up_!?" She yelled.

They both stropped and looked up at her. Cissa had a handful of Bella's hair and a red hand-shaped mark on her cheek, whilst Bellatrix had her neck bent at an uncomfortable angle by Narcissa's hand in her hair, blood slowly trickling down her face from her lip. She looked more demented than ever. Sirius and Regulus were watching this with rapt attention.

Dromeda continued in an agonised whisper. "_Please_, can we just get through the bedtime stories? We read them a story, they go to sleep, and then we get them out of Bella's bed. How hard can it be? Just _please, please_ can you two refrain from killing each other atleast until that's done? Please?"

Bella sighed and kicked Cissa off of her. Standing up and brushing down her clothes, she lifted her chin as she looked at Andromeda, as if justifying the height difference between them. "Fine." She said, before stalking over to the chair Dromeda had been sitting on and sitting on it herself. Picking up the book, she flicked through it, her face screwing up in disgust. "What on earth, Drommie? Don't poison their minds by reading them this stuff!"

"Whilst we are on the subject, Bella may I just say that you did make a very good hag." Sirius said, leaning forward to pat her messed-up hair. She snarled at him in a rather canine way. He snarled back. She glowered at him, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'immature' under her breath.

"Bella, if you're going to read them a story, get on and do it, would you?" Cissa said, rolling her eyes as she came to sit on the bed again.

Andromeda sat next to her. "The book's there." She said to her older sister, pointing at the book of fairytales that lay splayed open on the floor four feet away from them.

"I know." She said, before curling her legs under her and turning back to her cousins. "Right, you two, I'm going to tell you a story. Ok? Good. So, on a night much like this, people were screaming. Dying. Their insides were being ripped out slowly, painfully. Three-foot-thick ropes crushed their skulls; their brains slowly oozed out through their empty, shattered, eye sockets. And you know why? I'll tell you…"

As she continued to weave a tale of complete gore, Dromeda lean over to Narcissa and whispered in her ear, "And I'm poisoning their minds…"

Cissa met her gaze with a raised eyebrow. "Mmm. Do you think we should stop her? I think Reggie's gonna wet himself…"

Andromeda snorted with laughter. Bella would be _so_ happy if he did wet himself in her bed, especially seeing as it was _her _fault for telling the terrifying story in the first place. It was a terrifying story; judging by the faces of the two boys, they wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight. Only Bellatrix Black could have thought up something that gruesome and twisted.

When she started on describing the torture, Sirius hid under the covers, joining his brother, who had fled there as soon as Bella mentioned cutting off toes. He was currently huddled up under he covers, hugging his toes and making sure they were all there. Narcissa had bitten her nails right down to the skin, and Andromeda was rocking back and forth in terror. The scariest part was Bella's face; she _enjoyed_ describing this.

She finished with a flourish – a graphic description of a particularly nasty slaughter of three children – and stood up. Leaning forward, she pulled back the covers and kissed Sirius and Regulus on their foreheads, before doing the same to her sisters. With that, she turned on her heel and skipped out of her room, shutting the door behind her.

There was silence for a few seconds, before the two girls stood up. "So much gore… so much blood… so much death…" Narcissa whimpered.

Andromeda marched out of the room, closely followed by her younger sister. They found Bellatrix sitting at the top of the stairs, staring out of the window. Dromeda went and stood in front of her, hands on hips. "What the hell was that, Bella? You scared the lives out of them!"

"I know. It was fun." She said, grinning evilly.

"Well it might have been _fun_ but they're not going to get to sleep now, which means we can't move them out of your bed. So looks like you're gonna be sleeping on the sofa tonight."

There was a long pause, until Bellatrix broke it. "Damn." She muttered, before storming downstairs.

Andromeda and Narcissa exchanged looks. She was asking for that. Suddenly, from behind her back, Cissa produced the _Romeo and Juliet_ book from behind her back.

"Shall we find out what Trixibells was hiding, Drommie?" She asked, grinning.

Sitting on the same spot that their older sister had just vacated, they turned to the front page. "Who the hell is William Shakespeare?" Cissa asked incredulously. She hadn't heard of a Wizarding author with the surname 'Shakespeare', and the Black daughters had read most of the literature expected of them… There was only one explanation. Bellatrix was reading a Muggle book.

"Aww. Look, it's all romantic… are you sure this is Bella's?" The youngest asked of Dromeda, who just shrugged in response to her question.

"Well, she had a hissy fit when I tried to read it, so…" The brunette answered as she turned another page.

--

Bellatrix was in the kitchen, making herself a drink. Stupid little sisters… finding _her _book… she only liked it for the murders… atleast, that's what she told herself.

When she heard giggling from upstairs, she paused, straining to hear. "Who would have guessed? Bells is a romantic… how sweet…"

Bella dropped the drink. She didn't care that it stained the carpet – most likely permanently. Spinning on her heel, she bolted toward the stairs. Taking them two at a time, she lunged at both of her sisters, wrestling the book out of their hands. They held on tight. When each of them had a corner of the book, they paused. Andromeda and Narcissa were still sitting on the top step, while Bellatrix was standing a few steps down, facing them. She was leaning back at a dangerous angle.

Bellatrix glared at each of them. "You know, Cissy… Drom… all that stuff I just told the boys… well, some of it _wasn't _made up…"

The two other girls looked at each other wide-eyed. Simultaneously, they let go of the book, and Bellatrix went flying.

**I need to say this… you probably won't get another chapter until ****SEPTEMBER****. I'm going away ****loads**** at the summer, so will have no Internet. Sorry. :( But I promise I'll be updating as ever come the beginning of the next school year.**

**Farewell, dearest squirrels.**


	7. SuperReg to the Rescue!

**It is half past midnight, and I have to baby-sit the munchkins. Annoyingly appropriate for this story, huh? If it wasn't Hannah asking for _another_ glass of water (she drunk enough to fill the Mediterranean in the space of about an hour), it was Vic sneaking downstairs to practise the drums at midnight. All in all, I have a headache. So, with that brilliant but painful inspiration, I finally got past my writer's block.**

**If I were JKR, I would not be in the agonizing position of trying to drown out the sound of my sister's snores with eighties music. (Hell yeah. Eighties music. Bonnie Tyler, Total Eclipse of the Heart. I love it :D)**

**Enjoy. Know the pain that I have gone through in order to give you this. If anyone's had to baby-sit two ten-year-olds, then you know how I feel.**

Chapter 7- Super-Reg!!

Dromeda and Narcissa exchanged glances as their elder sister's head hit the marble floor at the bottom with a loud _crack_, before they scrambled to their feet and took the stairs two at a time. "Bella? Bella, can you hear me?" Cissa asked frantically, trying to shake her sister awake. Bellatrix didn't stir, so Narcissa looked up at Andromeda worriedly. "Drom, she's not waking up."

Andromeda tilted her head to the side, staring down at Bellatrix. "Leave her." She finally said, turning away with a disinterested shrug. "She was asking for it, anyway."

Narcissa reluctantly stood, her blue eyes still lingering on the form of her unconscious sister. The wound from where she'd smacked her head against the wall after trying to curse Sirius had opened up again and her blood mixed with the wet footprints that Regulus had left. "She's going to kill you when she wakes up…"

"Yeah, well, I can't imagine you're too high on her favourite-people list right now. She'll have that bruise for weeks." Dromeda countered, nodding at the ever-growing greenish-purple bruise on her head.

Narcissa nodded in agreement. It was a fair point. "True." She glanced up towards the slightly ajar door to Bella's room, where the boys were, hopefully, sleeping. "D'you think they're asleep?"

Dromeda shrugged. "Can't hear any noise, can you? They were both pretty tired anyway, when Trixibells was chasing you around the house."

Narcissa shivered at the mention of the post-makeover trauma, but didn't say anything more on the subject. "When they're asleep this will be _so_ much easier." With another glance at her unconscious and profusely bleeding sister, she turned on her heel and walked towards the kitchen, mumbling something about there still being half a chocolate cake left.

Her sister followed, but not before she delivered a swift kick to Bella's side. "Guess what, Trixie, _I_ don't need a wand to cause you great pain, either."

--

Unbeknownst to the three sisters, the boys were _not _asleep, but watching them from the top of the staircase. Sirius was standing on Regulus' shoulders to see over the high banister, and, as he was two years older and considerably heavier, Regulus was having trouble keeping upright.

"Regulus! Stop shaking!!" Sirius snapped down at his younger brother as he shuffled up a bit, putting one foot on his brother's head in order to get higher. He younger boy squeaked slightly at this. "Shut up, Turnip Head!!" Sirius hissed at him. He hoisted himself up, so he was standing on his brother's head completely, and looked down at the bottom of the staircase.

"Siri…" Regulus whined as his knees began to give way.

Sirius ignored him; he was amazed at what he saw at the bottom. "Regulus!" He whispered in amazement. "Bella's _dead_!!"

Regulus was so shocked at this that he stumbled, and both he and his brother fell on the floor. "Oof!" He wheezed as Sirius landed on him.

"Reg, you idiot!!" Sirius said, jumping to his feet. However, he didn't wait for his brother to get to his feet, but ran down the stairs to see his assumedly dead cousin. "Woah…" He said under his breath.

Bellatrix's blood had combined with the water on the floor, so the water had turned red too, which made it look like there was a lot more blood that there really was. Sirius grinned widely, convinced she was dead. He prodded her cheek gently, then harder.

Regulus came up behind him. "Is she really dead?" He asked, Blankie in hand and thumb in mouth. He looked a bit teary.

"You are such an idiot. If she _wasn't _dead, would I be able to do this?" He asked, whacking her around the head. Her head only flopped to the side.

Regulus looked on, wide-eyed. "She _is _dead. Should we tell Drommie? Or Cissy?" He asked, not knowing what to do.

Suddenly, Sirius had an idea. A Bellatrix-worthy idea, it was _that evil_. "No, Regulus! Don't you see what happened to her?" He asked in a convincingly worried tone.

Regulus shook his head.

"_They_ came. Remember what Bella told us? She was _warning _us. They killed her. They're probably outside the house right now… watching, _waiting_… And when we let our guard down for just a second, they'll kill us, too, just like they killed Bella. You're probably next. They killed the oldest first, so it makes sense to kill the youngest next. Ah, well. It's been nice knowing you, Turnip Head."

Regulus looked truly petrified now. He was clutching Blankie so tight his knuckles had gone white.

The door swung open, and he screamed, expecting the worst. Narcissa stepped into the room, frowning. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I thought I heard something." She said, walking towards them and picking up Regulus, who was still shaking madly. Sirius stood up and held onto her hand. "Come on, you two. Bed. Reggie… are you alright?" She asked, stopping halfway up the stairs and looking at him, concerned.

He was shaking, his dark eyes glancing wildly at every window as if he expected to see his doom there. Sirius tugged his cousin's hand. "He's fine. It's just… what Bella said. About the… killing and the gore."

Narcissa shook her head despairingly. "Listen, what she said is not true. That's not going to happen. She's winding you up. Just ignore her."

Once she had tucked them back in and walked downstairs, Regulus turned to his brother. "You lied to me." He frowned. "Cissy said that Bella was just winding us up."

_It's too early to give up! Tell him something! Come on, Sirius, one day you will be the greatest prankster Hogwarts has ever known!!_ He thought to himself. "Isn't it obvious, Reggie? Cissy is one of _them_. She's probably the one who killed Bella. Think about it – they've been arguing all night."

Regulus lay still for a minute. That was true, they never stopped screaming at each other… "So Cissy's going to kill me?" He asked, the terrified edge coming back to his voice.

"Yup. Now go to sleep. I'm tired." Sirius said, rolling over and starting to shake with silent laughter. He couldn't believe Regulus had fallen for it!

--

Narcissa came back into the kitchen, where Andromeda sat on the side, licking the chocolate icing off her fingers. "It was the boys. I put them back to bed, don't worry." The blonde explained, picking up her half-eaten piece of chocolate cake and taking a bite. "Mmm." She said through a mouthful of chocolate cake. "Dish ish gweet cayk."

Andromeda laughed. "What was that, Cissy?"

Narcissa grinned back, swallowing the chocolate cake, and opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by a cry of "Do da dum dohoo!!"

Regulus stood in the doorway, wearing his Super-Reg outfit: a towel and, err, nothing else, one hand on his hip and one fisted into the air, as if he were about to take off and fly away.

"Regulus…" Andromeda said. "Go to bed. It's well past your bedtime."

"NO!! Super-Reg must fight the forces of evil!" He cried.

"Reggie, the forces of evil are in the hallway. They go by the name of Bellatrix." Dromeda grinned.

Regulus just ignored her and shuffled three times around the kitchen table with his hands still in the same position, before he finally stopped in front of Narcissa. "YOU," He said loudly, pointing at her, "have committed the most terrible of crimes!! You killed Bellatrix Black!!"

There was a long and awkward silence, which Sirius used to his advantage. He poked his head around the door and grabbed one of his old felt-tip pens from the counter, before he disappeared.

"That's hardly a _crime_, Regulus. If anything, it's a good thing." Andromeda put in, only to be glared at by her little sister.

"Reggie, I didn't kill Bell-" Cissa started, but she was cut off, once again, by her youngest cousin;

"Ohoho!! So, how do you explain her dead body, then, Cissy??" He demanded, looking at her with comically wide-open eyes. She rolled her own, and made to pick him up, but he shrunk back. "No! You shall not murder me as well!!" She sighed and grabbed him around the waist, trying to cover him with a towel.

He screamed, holding his arms out to Dromeda, but she just followed Narcissa. When they reached the hallway, Narcissa spoke – "I didn't k-" But she broke off when she saw the sight in front of her.

Sirius was sitting on Bella's chest, using a thick black felt-tip to write the word 'FRISSY' on her forehead. "Hello, all." He said pleasantly.

"It's spelt F-R-I-_Z_-_Z_-Y, Siri." Andromeda grinned, leaning against the wall and watching as he changed the 's's to 'z's, pressing down with more force than necessary on the bruise.

Narcissa sighed, dumping Regulus into her sister's arms and hurrying over to pick his brother up off her other sister. "Thanks for helping, Dromeda." She said sarcastically as she wrestled the pen off of him.

"Come on, Cissy, it'll be hilarious to see her face!" Dromeda said, laughing as she wrapped Regulus in a towel, ignoring his protests of 'I am Super-Reg! You cannot do this! I must fight the forces of evil, I… Nooo… Put me _dowwwwwn_…'

With perfect timing, again, Bella stirred. She shifted up on her elbows and clutched one hand to the back of her head as she looked around the mass of what looked like blood. "Ow." She whimpered.

Andromeda was glaring at her as Regulus completed his toe ritual in her arms, but Narcissa was trying to grab a pen off of Sirius, and failing. He wouldn't let go and furiously drew a line down her face, from eyebrow to ear.

Bella burst out laughing. "You've got a little something on your face, Cissy." She said as Cissa successfully yanked the pen away and threw it out of the window.

"You can talk, Trixibells." She snapped back as she dropped Sirius. He scurried out of the door, but nobody bothered to follow him to see what he was doing.

"What do you mean, _I can talk_?" The eldest asked, frowning in confusion.

"Go look in a mirror!" Dromeda snapped as Regulus attempted to climb onto her head. Bellatrix stood up and winced slightly, clutching her side. Andromeda couldn't help but smirk as she did; it was where she'd kicked her.

Bella disappeared into the bathroom, and three seconds later came her high-pitched scream. She stormed out. "Who did this?" She demanded, glaring.

"Who do you think?" Came the reply.

She turned on her heel and sprinted out of the room to find Sirius and, most likely, kill him. Both of her sisters hoped to God that he was a fast runner.

Regulus, from his position over Andromeda's shoulder, watched this with rapt interest. So if Bella _wasn't_ dead, then maybe _she _was one of _them_. And now… she was trying to kill Sirius…

He gasped, and wriggled his way out of Dromeda's hold, landing heavily on the floor. She went to pick him up again, but he dodged out of the way of her hands and refastened his cape where she'd demolished it. Putting one hand on his hip and one fisted into the air, he shuffled off again, to protect his brother.

--

Sirius smirked. He'd done it again. He'd managed to get Bella so annoyed that she lost all sense of what Druella had drilled into her head since the day she was born, all that stuff about acting aloof and being above screaming and losing your temper. Now, as he darted round the corner, his cousin's footsteps following close behind, he sniggered to think what would happen if his Aunt Druella was here. Bellatrix wouldn't be able to sit down for a month, if she was lucky.

He turned on his heel suddenly and dived onto the floor, skidding easily along the polished wood and between her legs, but he wasn't fast enough. Her hand came down and grabbed his ankle, lifting him up in the air.

He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for her to smack him or throw him into the wall, but it never came. Instead, he felt her turn around slightly, and opened one eye. Bella was no longer looking at him, but down at Regulus, who stood behind her, dressed in his Super-Reg outfit. "Dear God, Reg, would it kill you to put some clothes on once in a while?"

Sirius twisted slightly, so that he could see around his cousin. Regulus had a frown on his face, his arms crossed over his bare chest, and his (also bare) legs planted firmly on the ground. In each hand he held a handful of chocolate cake. "Put my brother down, Forces of Evil!!"

Bellatrix didn't really know what to say to this. "_Forces of Evil_?" She finally repeated incredulously, ignoring his order.

He nodded, wide-eyed; the five little plaits flopping about. "Uh-huh. Drommie said so. She said… 'Reggie, the forces of evil are in the hallway. They go by the name of Bellatrix.' She did. She did. I remember it. She did."

"Regulus, here's a lesson in life. _Never _listen to Andromeda. Ever. Unless, of course, you want to be a friendless nerd when you're older."

Regulus didn't really know what to say to this. "O…oh." He said eventually, after a long moment of thought. He dismissed it as one of those confusing things his cousins sometimes said to confuse him. Instead, he pulled one arm back, chocolate icing oozing through his chubby fingers, and aimed carefully.

Bella just watched, one eyebrow raised sceptically. As if Regulus would actually have the guts to throw that choc- SPLAT!!

She dropped Sirius; he landed with a _thud_ on the floor and scurried off somewhere, but she couldn't care less about him, now. Instead, she slowly brought her hand to her face and scraped off the chocolate cake. Only then did she open her eyes, to glare at the vulnerable five-year-old who stood before her.

"Regulus, _darling_, I-" But before she got to say any more, another handful of chocolate cake hit her straight on, re-splattering her face with the gooey mixture.

"Super-Reg to the rescue!!" He said, his voice higher than ever, and started to shuffle off, but he felt an arm hook tightly around his waist and he was hoisted up in the air. He found himself facing Bellatrix again, his feet dangling what seemed like twenty thousand feet above the floor. He whimpered, and who could blame him? Her face was inches from his, her eyes sparkling with something that scared him, and the black letters on her head were smudged slightly, but not enough that you couldn't make out what was written there, and her teeth bared in a feral snarl.

But then, of course, there was the nice thing; she was covered in chocolate cake. Even though she'd swept it out of her eyes, there was still a bit on her cheek, her chin and quite a lot in her hair. It looked so nice, so chocolaty, so gooey… he just couldn't resist. He leaned forward and licked some off her cheek.

"Eww!! Eww, eww, eww, eww!! Yuck! Urgh! Why do I have to be related to such disgusting brats? _Urgh_!!" She yelled, dropping him heavily on the floor as she wiped the back of her hand repeatedly across her cheek.

Regulus hit the floor with a thud, much like his brother had, and immediately burst into tears. Bellatrix looked down at him and bit her lip, her hand pausing in her vigorous cheek cleaning.

"BELLA HURT ME!!" Reg screamed loudly. Bella was completely at a loss for what to do. She looked around for something to help her.

Suddenly his sobs quietened, and she turned back to him to see why. Regulus was now clinging to Narcissa, who was glaring daggers at Bellatrix while she patted his back comfortingly. "Bella, do you want to make this night harder than it is already for us?"

"_What_?" Her sister asked loudly, confused.

"Would it kill you to behave, for once in your life? We're trying to get the boys to go to sleep, but all you can do is get them all hyped up. Do you realise how much trouble you're gonna be in when the parents get back? Mother's already furious at you, do you really want more punishment?" Cissa snapped, shifting Regulus on her hip.

Bellatrix didn't say anything in reply, but instead matched Narcissa's unrelenting icy-blue gaze with her own furious black. The younger spun around and marched out of the door, leaving her sister alone. She slumped on the sofa and immediately started doodling a rather lifelike drawing of what would happen to her sister if she ever got hold of a guillotine.

In the other room, Andromeda was struggling to stop Sirius from completing his 'Master Plan' (Murdering Bellatrix with a sock he found under the sofa.) She looked up when her sister came in. "What happened?" She asked, taking in Reggie's tear-streaked face.

"Bella being Bella, I guess. I'm gonna put Reggie to bed, now." She nodded at where he was falling asleep on her shoulder.

"Yes… Sirius needs to go to bed now, too." Dromeda replied, trying to grab Sirius' ankles as he, unlike his brother, struggled against her hold, especially when she mentioned the word 'bed'.

"But Dromed_aaaaaaaaaaa_!! I don't wanna go to bed! It's not fair!!" He whined, kicking and screaming. She ignored him and instead held him by his ankle, so he dangled upside-down.

After they'd struggled up the stairs, with Sirius' screams increasing to such a pitch that Dromeda swore her eardrums would burst, she physically dragged him across the corridor. "Siri, _please_, I'll let you trash Bella's room… please…" She said in her desperation. _Well_, she thought, _it's messy enough already. She wouldn't notice a bit more._

Sirius stopped his wiggling. "Oh?" He asked, interested at a new way to drive Bella even further down the road to insanity.

"Drommie! She will _kill _you…" Cissa said, struggling with Regulus as he shifted in her arms to stare at his toes.

"She won't find out. Have you seen the state of her room? She won't notice!"

"True…"

When he was promised to be allowed to muck up his cousin's room in the morning, Sirius let himself be tucked in to bed, kissed goodnight, and didn't even complain when his brother snuggled up to him, wiping snot all over his pyjamas. Well, not while the girls were there, anyway.

He heard a lock click in the door, despite the fact that they'd tried to muffle it, and he couldn't help but smirk when he heard Cissa say 'Thank God Bella won't behave…'. Sirius could remember more than one occasion where Bellatrix had been locked in her room for days on end for misbehaving. That was the only reason she had a lock on the door.

He slid out of bed, ignoring Regulus' whine. Tripping over what felt like a book and a packet of crisps (he made a mental note to eat these later), he fumbled his way to the door. He tried the handle, even though he knew it was locked.

As if that would stop him…

**Sorry about the huge long wait… as I said, writers block, and I have three other ongoing fics. I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner.**

**Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to do a Cissy and knock my sister out with a baseball bat. Adieu.**


	8. Locked In

**Darn you, writer's block…**

**I have gone COMPLETELY off my plan for this story – the last two chapters were made up as they go along, but it's okay; I think it's better this way.**

**So… another chapter… yesh… enjoy :D**

**I shall say it in Spanish – **_**no soy JKR.**_** (I have no idea if that was right or not, but oh well…) also, **_**me gusta palomas.**_** Kudos to anyone who understands that. xD**

Chapter 8

Bellatrix's room was terrifying. Regulus didn't know _why _he'd gone along with Sirius' plan to sleep in Bella's bed – her room alone was enough to scare the living daylights out of him. There was so much mess, you wouldn't know if someone was hiding there… and besides, it stunk of _girl_.

The pile of rubbish in the corner was taller than Regulus himself, and cast menacing shadows over the wall. Something was flashing from underneath a piece of clothing, making the entire room light up and then plunge back into darkness every few seconds, which only made the shadows more intensified.

In short, Regulus was terrified.

Sirius couldn't help but giggle as he heard his brother whimper, but managed to turn it into a snore before Regulus could cotton on. The younger huddled closer to his older brother's back, drawing his knees up. "Sirius?" He whispered. "Sirius, I'm scared." Sirius ignored him, keeping up his fake sleeping act up.

Something over by the cluttered chest of drawers let out a high-pitched whistle. Regulus whimpered louder, clutching Blankie so tight his knuckles went white, and shrunk smaller under the cover, until his toes touched something cold… cold and… _slimy_…cold and slimy and _moving_…

He froze, not moving a muscle as the thing starting wriggling up his foot, leaving a slime trail over his skin. When it reached his ankle, he opened his mouth and screamed louder than he ever had in his life.

--

"Knight to E6." Narcissa said, watching as the white chess piece moved forward and brought his sword down on one of the black pawns.

Andromeda grinned. "You shouldn't have done that. Now I can use my queen to take your knight." She said, before instructing her queen to E6. Narcissa _humph-_ed as her knight was smashed to pieces.

"Is that all you two can do? Play chess? Because chess is _so_ _much fun_." Bella said, sarcasm practically dripping from her voice as she pulled bits of chocolate cake from her hair.

"Well what do you suggest we do then?" Narcissa snapped, spinning around on her chair to glare at Bellatrix.

The elder was about to reply, but Regulus' high-pitched scream echoed through the large house before any words had left her mouth. Narcissa and Andromeda immediately jumped up, and ran out of the room. Bellatrix rolled her eyes, before Andromeda's order of "Bellatrix!" came, and she stomped out of the room after her sisters.

--

Narcissa flicked the light switch and Bellatrix's room lit up. Sirius held his hand up to his eyes and blinked, propping himself up on one elbow. Behind him, Regulus was curled up in the foetal position, whimpering. Andromeda hurried round to the other side of the bed and picked him up, trying to calm him down.

"Reggie, Reggie, it's okay, I'm here. What was it?"

"There was… there was… something… in the bed…" He whimpered, clinging on to her. She bent forward, one arm still supporting him, and with her free hand, ripped back the covers.

"What is _that_?" She asked, taking a step back and nearly tripping over a broomstick.

Bellatrix sauntered into the room, a plate of chocolate cake in one hand. When she saw what everyone else was looking at, she dropped the plate onto a teetering pile of schoolbooks and hurried over, picking it up and glaring at Andromeda.

"Bella… what is it? Is it something that's been in here for so long it's gotten a life of it's own?" Narcissa asked as Sirius started to climb up her arm.

Her sister glared at her, stroking the thing. "He is a pygmy puff. He's adorable. Leave him alone." She said, kissing it.

"Why's it wet?" Sirius asked as Cissa finally shook him off.

But Bellatrix ignored him; she was too busy making nonsensical sentences at it. "Who's adowabul? _You's _adowabul! Yesh you are! Yesh you _are_!" Her sisters exchanged worried glances.

Sirius grinned. His eldest cousin was having one her 'moments', and Dromeda and Cissa were fearing for her sanity. Regulus had gone to sleep in Andromeda's arms. This was the perfect opportunity. He snuck around Narcissa's legs and tiptoed backwards out of the door, before slamming the door and turning the key in the lock.

The room went quiet as the door slammed, and soon enough the handle was tried, and someone started pounding on the wood. "Sirius?" Cissa's voice called. "Sirius, come on, let us out, Siri. It's very funny, just open the door, okay?"

But instead of letting them out, he laughed loudly, trying to imitate the really quite scary sound he'd once heard his eldest cousin make. However, it didn't work; as soon as he finished, her voice could be heard saying, "That was a pathetic evil laugh."

Andromeda's voice joined in. "Sirius, sweetie, you've had your joke, and it's very funny, but just open the door please." She tapped on the door.

"Why should I?" He asked, standing with his hand on his hips, though he knew they couldn't see.

"_Because_, Sirius," Bellatrix said, her voice menacing, "if you _don't_, then I will personally see that you will be functioning without a stomach. Am I clear?"

There was quiet, until he asked, "What does _functioning_ mean?" There was a groan, and something hit the door, presumably Bella's head. "Anyways," he said, "that doesn't matter. You are locked in there until… until…"

"Until?" The three girls said at once (which was immediately followed by "Jinx!" and "Oh, real mature, Bells…").

"I don't know!" He whimpered.

"How about until Bella breaks down the door and claws your brains – if you have any – out with her nails?" Bellatrix suggested, the menacing edge to her voice clear under the faked innocence. Sirius gulped, but didn't say anything, so she continued. "No? Okay… how about until Bella cuts your heart out with a spoon?"

Narcissa's voice cut in. "Why a spoon? Why not something sharp, like… an axe?"

"Because a spoon is _blunt_, you imbecile, it'll hurt more!" Bella snapped. **((A/N: If anyone's seen the Robin Hood film with Alan Rickman (-squee-) and Kevin Costner, then you'll know what I'm quoting. If you haven't… go watch it. NOW. I'm watching youuuuu…))**

Sirius whimpered, just like Regulus had when he'd first felt Bella's pygmy puff crawl up his leg. Turning on his heel, he sprinted down the corridor and slid down the banister, running straight into the kitchen, and diving headfirst into the half-eaten chocolate cake.

Upstairs, Bellatrix kicked the door in frustration, before yanking on the handle violently. "Dammit!" She fumed when she was certain it was stuck, spinning around on her heel to face the other three. "Now we're stuck in here. Damn good job of staying in charge you did, Dromeda!!"

"Bella, if you hadn't got that stupid thing in the first place, Reggie would never have screamed!" Andromeda yelled back, pointing at the pygmy puff on the bed.

"It is not stupid! It's adorable and gorgeous and I love him!"

"Somehow, Bella, I think Mother's looking for more _human_ suitors for you." Narcissa put in, but her sisters ignored her.

"I believe you have to have a _heart_ to love something, Bellatrix."

"I have a h-"

But suddenly, Regulus burst into tears. Narcissa picked him up off the bed and rubbed his back soothingly. "Shh, Reggie, shh, I'm here… what's wrong?"

"I… I need the… loo…" He said between gasps.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes at exactly how pathetic her baby cousin was. He cried at everything. It was pathetic and annoying and pathetic. And annoying. Pathetically annoying. Annoyingly pathetic. "Well he can just go in his nappy, can't he?" She snapped.

Regulus glared a rather good glare at her over Narcissa's shoulder. "I do not wear a _nappy_, Bellatrix." He hissed, not sounding like a five-year-old crybaby anymore. "Just because _you_ do."

Bellatrix's infamous short temper got the better of her. "Shut up! I am sixteen years old; do you honestly expect me to wear a _nappy_?" She screeched, going a blotchy pink with anger.

Regulus just smirked. He could see why Sirius liked teasing her. It was fun. He opened his mouth to say something back, but a look from Narcissa silenced him.

"Bella, don't you have a spare key, or something? How did you escape all those times Mother locked you in here?" Andromeda said, changing the subject quickly.

"Oh, that's easy." She shrugged, reaching over to grab Narcissa's wand from her pocket. "I used my wand, see… _Alohomora_!"

Both of her sisters had screamed 'NO!!' but she didn't listen. Cissa's wand glowed bright blue, and as soon as Bellatrix dropped it on the floor it disappeared. Then they saw the door. As Druella has said, the spell backfired, so instead of opening the door, it stayed shut, moulding into the wall so it would be impossible to open ever again.

"Ah…" Bellatrix said, looking at the wall that had, a minute ago, been a door. "That… didn't go as planned…"

Narcissa dropped Regulus on the bed and fell to her knees on the floor, feeling around for her wand. "My wand… no…" She got to her feet and rounded on her eldest sister, who smiled apologetically. "This is all _your _fault! I'll probably get beaten now, because _you_ were an idiot! How could you be so _stupid_?" She started walking forwards, forcing her sister to walk backwards. "You'd better tell Mother that this was your fault! I am _not _getting beaten for something _you_ did. You get beaten every other day, but _I _don't!"

The backs of Bellatrix's knees hit the edge of her bed and she sat down heavily. "Cissy…" She tried.

"Don't you _Cissy_ me! I am _sick_ _and_ _tired _of _you_ getting _us_ into trouble. I am planning to wear that backless dress to the party, and I can't if I have cane marks all over my back! You _will _tell Mother that this was your fault, because if you don't, God help me, I will give you the biggest damn makeover you've ever had! You got that?"

Bellatrix nodded. She'd never admit it, but she was the tiniest bit scared by Narcissa right now. Who knew her ickle baby sister had such a temper? Well… they were related…

"Good." Narcissa said, before turning back to the wall. "Now how are we gonna escape?"

Regulus shuffled over from the foot of the bed and clambered onto Bellatrix's lap where she was still sitting, stunned after Cissa's outburst. He rested his head on her shoulder, thumb in mouth, and closed his eyes. She seemed to have forgotten about the nappy ordeal, which was good. Suddenly, he felt her arm around his back, and he was being lifted up in the air… oh, no… last time she'd picked him up, he'd been dropped twenty thousand feet…

But instead, he found himself nice and snug on her hip. That was a surprise… "Well…" He heard her say, "We could always climb out the window?"

"_Climb out the window_?" That was Andromeda. "Bella, we're on the top floor! Last time you tried you broke your leg!"

Regulus could remember that time… A couple of weeks ago, their families had met up for tea and scones outside, but Bella had done something, so Druella had locked her in her room. Half an hour later, she'd climbed out onto her windowsill, yelling something to the parents. Then she jumped. And soon enough, she was lying on the ground, her leg sticking out at a weird angle. Druella had fixed her leg with a wave of her wand, slapped Bellatrix hard around the face and dragged her inside.

"I _jumped_ out the window last time, actually. There's some ivy outside you can climb down. I've done it millions of times. It's easy." Regulus didn't quite like the idea of climbing out a window, but was too tired to say so.

Suddenly, the fire in Bellatrix's fireplace crackled loudly, the flames green. The three girls looked up. Druella Black emerged from the fireplace, looking with disgust at the state of Bellatrix's room. "Girls." She said coldly.

She walked forwards, careful not to step on anything. "A few minutes ago, _this_ appeared at my table." Her eyes fell on her youngest as she held up Narcissa's wand. The blonde's face fell. "Narcissa, I _told_ you there was no magic allowed. I expected Bellatrix to break the rules, that's why I paid no attention to it when her wand appeared, but _you_? I thought you, of all people, would have some regard for the rules. That backless dress isn't an option now, I'm afraid."

Narcissa looked like she was about to cry. Bellatrix sighed. "It was me, Mother." She said.

Druella turned. "Excuse me?"

Bellatrix sighed again, looking down at Regulus, who had long passed out in her arms. " It was me. I-"

But she didn't get to finish her sentence; Druella's hand came flying across her face in a stinging slap. "You _look_ at me when you talk to me, Bellatrix!" She snapped.

The slap had woken up Regulus, who looked up groggily. Bella held one hand to her red cheek, before starting again, making sure she looked at her mother this time. "Seeing as my wand's been confiscated, I stole Cis-Narcissa's and tried to open the door. It's now a wall, but that's my fault. She didn't do anything."

"Right…" Her mother said after a pause. "Well, if that's the case, then Narcissa, you won't be punished… _you_, however," she turned to her eldest, "_You_ had better not put another _toe_ over the line if you want to see sunlight before you go back to Hogwarts. And seeing as you're _stealing _wands, I'll keep Narcissa's." She turned to Andromeda. "As you're in charge, Andromeda, I trust you to keep it away from her."

She began to walk briskly back towards the fireplace, but Dromeda stopped her. "Mother?"

"Yes?"

"Erm, well, Bella, being the _idiot_ that she is, managed to Transfigure the door into a wall… so we're stuck in here. Could you… reopen it? Please?"

Druella's grey eyes flickered from her face to the wall, and back again, before waving her own wand. The door immediately reappeared, unlocked and ajar.

"Thank you, Mother." Andromeda said, but her mother ignored her and stepped into the flames again. Bella glared after her, holding her red cheek.

Narcissa stepped over and pulled Bella into a hug. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" She said, smiling widely.

Bella couldn't help but grin. "Don't think too much of it. I just hate your makeovers." She said, kissing the top of her sister's head. Regulus joined in, flopping onto Cissa's head in what he assumed was a hug.

Andromeda rolled her eyes. "I hate to break up the hug fest, but Sirius is probably somewhere wreaking havoc on the place. How about we go and stop him before he sets the house on fire?" She snapped, before storming out of the door.

"What's wrong with her?" Regulus asked, trying to climb further up, onto Bella's shoulder.

"She's a stressball." Bella said.

"But she said _you_ were a stressball…" Regulus whined, incredibly confused as to which of his cousins was the stressball.

"_She _is." Bella grinned, looking down at him, until suddenly, something in her expression changed. "And I do not wear nappies!!"

Sure, Bella… whatever you say…

**Seeing as I'm in a Spanish mood (ole!), I shall say this; **_**me gusta muchos **_**reviews. :D**

**PS – **_**Me gusta**_** is ****I like****, and **_**palomas**_** are ****pigeons****. Quick li'l Spanish lesson for you there :P**

**xxxx**


	9. BedWetting

**Before I get eaten alive, please can I just say that I'm reallyreallyreallyreallyREALLY sorry for not updating? I'm reallyreallyreallyreallyREALLY sorry. There. Thank you. Feel free to eat me now.**

**Disclaimer: The phone rang five minutes ago. It was JKR, telling me that even though she didn't know who I was, she was going to give me the rights to Harry Potter. No, wait, it wasn't… it was my dad…**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 9 – Bed-Wetting

His pyjamas, face and hair were covered in chocolate icing. He'd drawn moustaches on photos of Bellatrix, and Narcissa because she'd stopped him from drawing on Bella's forehead. He had eaten six bars of Honeydukes' Best. And now, he was on a sugar rush.

He had no idea that his aunt had appeared in his cousin's bedroom and opened the door for them. He had no idea that his middle cousin was currently running around the downstairs rooms, trying to find him before he wreaked even more havoc on the house than he had already.

Until, that is, he felt her arms around his waist, hoisting him up in the air and wrenching the last few chunks of chocolate from his clutches. He screamed, trying to kick at the person behind him with his ankles, but soon they were grabbed too, and he was being held upside-down.

"Ooooooohhh…" He murmured as he found himself being swung round and marched out of the doorway until whoever was carrying him met up with two others. From his angle, he could make out Bella's waist, with Regulus' feet dangling over her hip, and Cissa's skirt… that must mean it was _Dromeda _who was carrying him… How dare she? He'd been nice to her! Bellatrix's picture was currently sporting three black teeth and glasses, while Narcissa's had a moustache and a monobrow, but Andromeda's was left perfectly normal, _because _she'd been nice. Oh, as soon as he was dropped, he was going to find that permanent marker and giving her every ugly feature he could think of…

They were talking… ooh… "You know, I've got half a mind to lock you up with the boys. I could; Mother said I was in charge…" That was Andromeda. She sounded really stressed out…

"It's only, like, eight. I am _not _going to bed at eight. I am not ten. I'm sixteen." Bellatrix, obviously.

"Really? You don't seem to be acting like a sixteen-year-old… I'd place you at eight or nine, actually… Regulus is being more mature than you right now, and he's five." _Superbly timed, Andromeda_, Sirius thought appraisingly, as no sooner had the words come out of Dromeda's mouth than Regulus let out a gasp, shuffling in his eldest cousin's grip until he could perform his toe ritual.

"Andromeda, I'm just as mature as you are. No, I'm _more mature_, as I am two years older than you. _Stop it, Regulus…_"

"Take the boys up to bed, then." Andromeda snapped, holding Sirius out by his ankle.

Bellatrix glared and grabbed Sirius' ankle from her younger sister. He kicked out, his bare foot hitting her wrist so she dropped him. Immediately clambering to his feet, he wrapped his arms and legs around her leg, weighting it to the ground. She wrenched his hair back, forcing him to let go, and proceeded to drag him up the stairs by his hair.

"You didn't have to snap at her, y'know." Narcissa said, turning on her second-oldest sister.

"Oh, shut up, Cissy. I've already got _her _winding me up; do you have to start as well?" Dromeda snapped, spinning on her heel to snap at the blonde.

Narcissa frowned, taking an involuntary step back. "You're stressed, Drommie. Just calm down. Do you want a drink or something? Seriously, go have a little lie-down for an hour or something; me and Bella can handle it…"

"_No you can't_!" Andromeda snapped, her hands clenching into fists so tight her knuckles went white. "You're twelve, and she acts like she's a child herself! Mother put _me _in charge! _I'm _in charge!" And with that, the fourteen-year-old stormed out of the room, slamming the door so hard the glass in it shattered and fell to the floor in little shards.

--

Bellatrix looked over her shoulder as the faint sound of shouting and smashing glass echoed throughout the spacious manor. Sirius, who had managed to release her hold on his hair and had been gnawing her hand, stopped and looked up. "What was that?" He asked, looking up at his cousin worriedly.

She didn't look down at him; instead her dark gaze was fixed on the bottom of the stairs, her lips – still slightly red from the lipstick Narcissa had applied – parted with worry. Then suddenly, her expression hardened. "I don't know, and I don't care."

Sirius found Bella's hand close tightly around his own, her uneven, bitten nails digging into his flesh as she dragged him down the corridor, away from her room.

He whined as he saw they were heading _away _from her bedroom. His first attempt to pull away was in vain, so instead he resorted to sinking his sharper front teeth into the side of her hand and clamping his jaws together.

Bella yelped, dropping a sleeping Regulus, who landed with a _thud_ on the floor and dozed off again with a mutter of "No, _you're _the cheesecake…"

"You little _brat_." Bellatrix hissed once she'd successfully released Sirius, who now sat on the floor, from her hand. She now stood, cradling the bleeding hand in the other as she glared down at him. "I don't _care_ if your mother – or mine – canes me in the morning, I am going to _kill _you."

The seven-year-old scrambled to his feet and darted away, quick enough to miss her fist, which, had he not become used to her violent mood swings and had learnt to move quickly around her, would have connected with his face and probably broken a few of his teeth.

Sirius sprinted down the corridor and into her bedroom, slamming the door violently and pressing his weight against the heavy wood. However, he was only seven and she sixteen, so when her body weight cam slamming into the opposite side, his feet skidded backwards over her carpet, occasionally pushing a book or piece of clothing away.

Then suddenly, Sirius had an idea. It was brilliant!! Even better than that Trick-Regulus-Into-Believing-Cissa's-A-Murderess idea, and that had been very good, even though he said so himself.

So, he jumped away from the door and into a pile of what looked like clothes stained with either tomato juice or blood – he didn't really want to know which one it was – and watched as Bellatrix fell against the floor, colliding with her vanity table on the way.

Both of her hands immediately flew to her head. "Owwww…" She moaned, sitting up. "_Owwww_…" She hadn't noticed him.

Jut as he was preparing to make a sprint for the door, Narcissa appeared there. "Bella, Drommie's gone all… what happened to you?"

With one hand still on her head, Bella snapped her free arm out to point at Sirius, hiding in the clothes. Oh. Maybe she _had_ noticed him… Cissa looked over at him, then back at Bellatrix. "Anyways, she's _really _stressed at the moment, so why don't we just get the boys to bed and try and calm her down? Where's Reg… why is he lying on the floor in the hallway?"

Bella hauled herself up by the vanity table, finally taking one hand off of her head, and shrugged in answer to Narcissa's question. The blonde rolled her eyes and went to fetch him.

The older, however, turned to face him. He tried to shrink down into the stained clothing, but she grabbed his wrist and hauled him up by it. "Fine! Sleep in my bed! Just remember, Sirius, that I can and will make you regret it. Got that?"

He tried to kick her shin, but couldn't from the way she was holding him. Instead, he found himself slung on the bed, his head cracking sharply against the wooden headboard. However, he didn't give her the satisfaction of letting her know it had hurt him, so just sat up straight and fixed her with a level stare.

Bellatrix lingered at the doorway for a few seconds, confused as to why Sirius hadn't made any noise of pain whatsoever. She'd heard his head smack the headboard… deciding to go and torment Andromeda some more, she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room.

Sirius smirked, putting both of his hands behind his head and farting loudly, making sure she could hear.

--

"_Dromedaaaaaaaaaaa_!!!" Bella's annoying whine echoed throughout the downstairs rooms. Andromeda, sitting on a sofa in Cygnus and Druella's private rooms and massaging her temples groaned when she heard her sister's voice.

"Please, Bella, leave me alone…" Andromeda whispered into her hands, though she knew Bellatrix couldn't hear her.

An arm was slung over her shoulders, and someone's head rested on her arm. Peeking through her fingers, she could see the messy curls of her elder sister, still with some bits of chocolate in them. Andromeda pretended Bellatrix wasn't there. Bella sighed loudly.

Dromeda still didn't move, so Bellatrix shifted slightly, so her nose was pressed into her sister's cheek and sighed again, louder.

Andromeda still ignored her, so Bella shoved her elbows out the way and lay over her lap, sighing even louder.

The younger threw her hands up into the air as a sign of defeat, before lying down across the sofa. "Okay, okay!! What do you want???"

"Oh, nothing. Just wanted to spend time with my lovely little sister. Is there anything wrong with that, hmm?"

_Yes. There's _everything _wrong with that, Bellatrix. _Andromeda thought, but didn't dare say it; Bellatrix wouldn't hesitate to steal _her _wand and torture her… though the spell would backfire… so _Bella _would get tortured…

"Drommie-darrr! Can you hear meee?" Bella's singsong voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Yes." Came the short, blunt reply. "Where's Cissy?"

"Putting the brats to bed or something, how should I know? I wanted to see _you_."

"Look, Bella, I have a headache. Couldn't you just… go tell them one of your twisted stories again? Go… pester Cissy? Sirius?" Andromeda whined, pulling a leather cushion over her face.

Bellatrix didn't answer. After about three minutes of silence, Dromeda pulled the cushion away in the hope that her sister had gone, but no – Bellatrix's face loomed about three inches from hers. The younger flinched back and opened her mouth to yell, but was saved from doing so by the arrival of the youngest Black sister.

"The boys are in bed. Bella, you have some really weird stuff in your room… what are you two doing??" Narcissa was in the doorway, holding the plate of chocolate cake Bellatrix had left in her room when they'd first discovered her pygmy puff. Half of it had been eaten.

"She's annoying me, that's what she's doing." Andromeda said, shoving Bellatrix into a sitting position and sitting up herself.

"Are they tired at all, or are we going to have another episode of Super-Reg and Bratboy?" Bellatrix asked, leaning across to grab a handful of chocolate cake.

"I think we've got a good chance of them actually going to sleep, actually." Narcissa said, moving to sit on Bellatrix's lap and putting the chocolate cake in between the three of them.

--

Half an hour had passed, and the three girls were finally smiling, assuming the boys had gone to sleep. Narcissa was plaiting Bella's unruly curls as they all talked, relieved that their little cousins were finally asleep.

"You'll have to go to bed soon too, Cissa." Bellatrix teased, grinning at her youngest sister.

Narcissa tugged on one of the little plaits hard. "I'm going to sleep when you two are." She said, glaring as she started on an eighth plait.

"Narcissa, you're twelve. I am fourteen. Bella's sixteen." Andromeda reminded her. "And I'm in charge, so I can tell you to go to bed anytime, and you have to do as I say." She sighed, putting her hands behind her head and grinning. "I love being in charge."

Bellatrix opened her mouth to say something snappy back to her, but Regulus' voice from the doorway stopped her. "Drommie…?"

Andromeda stood up, walking over to her youngest cousin. "Yeah, Reggie? What's wrong?"

Regulus went slightly red, and dropped his gaze to the floor. "I'm sorry, Drommie. I'm sorry."

"Just spit it out, already, Reggie." Bellatrix said dispassionately.

Regulus swallowed, going even redder. "I… I wet the bed… I'm sorry…"

There was silence for a good minute, until Bellatrix burst out laughing, really quite insanely. "Oh, God! I bet you're not so glad you're in charge now, Andromeda! You have to clear up after the brats!! Oh, I'm _so_ happy I'm not in charge right now…" She continued laughing for a few seconds, before she stopped abruptly. "Wait a minute… they're sleeping in my bed… and he's _wet _the bed… and… OH MY GOD!!!"

Narcissa tried to stop her eldest sister from lunging at the five-year-old, but found herself shoved onto the floor. Regulus scuttled away as fast as his legs could carry him.

He ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw her slip on the wet floor, which was still stained pinkish from her blood, and start up the stairs. Regulus turned the corner, and dived into her bedroom.

Sirius was sitting in the corner, wearing an old jacket of Bella's over his pyjamas to stop him getting cold as Regulus came in. "You've really done it this time, Turnip Head."

Bellatrix crashed into the doorframe and surveyed her room. The duvet was pulled back, showing the dark wet patch on the sheet. She whimpered.

Her sisters appeared in the doorway behind her, and Andromeda immediately grabbed her arm, stopping her from killing Regulus there and then. "Bellatrix, calm down! It's okay!!"

"He… he peed in my bed…" She whimpered, her eyes never leaving the wet patch staining her sheets. "In my bed… he _peed_… in _my_ bed…"

Narcissa ducked under her arm, moving towards Regulus, who was cowering under the bed. "It's okay, Reggie, I know it was an accident. Come on, we'll get you cleaned up. It's okay-"

"IT'S NOT OKAY, NARCISSA!!! HE _PEED _IN MY _BED_!! JUST _WHERE _AM I MEANT TO SLEEP TONIGHT??" Bellatrix screamed, her eyes wide with insanity.

Andromeda rolled her eyes, grabbing Bella's hair and slamming her head against the doorframe so the sixteen-year-old fell to the floor, unconscious. "Sleep there." Andromeda snapped, before stepping over her body and picking up Sirius, who had been trying to sneak out of the door again.

Narcissa had successfully divested Regulus of his sopping wet pyjama trousers, and turned to Sirius. "Siri, do you have any spare trousers?"

Sirius snorted from where he was sitting in Dromeda's arms. "No, and even if I did I wouldn't give them to him. He'd wet them, too. But… there are some _nappies _in the bag Mother brought downstairs." He smiled nastily at his little brother.

Regulus pouted, frowning, and stomped his foot. "I don't wear nappies!!!"

Narcissa picked him up, stepping over the piles of Bellatrix's things and finally, Bellatrix. "I know, Reggie, but we don't have any other options. Come on. It'll take two minutes, then you can go back to sleep."

Regulus whined and made a half-hearted attempt to kick his cousin, but instead just ended up sucking his thumb on her shoulder.

Andromeda put Sirius down – confident that he wouldn't manage to lock her in again, as Bella was proving to be a very useful doorstop – and began changing the sheets. She knew Sirius wouldn't think his brother peeing in the bed they were sleeping in would be a valid excuse to stop annoying Bellatrix, and would just find a way around it, so she was trying to make it easier for all of them.

She looked up when the sound of someone trying to lift something heavy came from behind her. Sirius was trying to push Bella's unconscious form away from the door, presumably to lock her in again. However, the sixteen-year-old was being stubborn, even when she was knocked out, and only moved an inch every few shoves Sirius was giving her.

"Sirius, are you trying to lock me in again?" Andromeda asked, hands on hips.

"N… no… I was trying to… wake Bella up… I'm very worried she might be dead, actually…" He improvised, looking anywhere but at Dromeda.

The elder laughed, stepping forward to hoist him over her shoulder. "Worried? Yeah, right, Sirius. Hopeful, more like." She said as she continued stripping the bed.

Sirius had to agree with that.

--

"But Sirius will laugh!" Regulus protested, kicking out at Narcissa.

She caught his ankle. "Like I said before, Reggie, he's an idiot."

"But _Bella _will laugh!!"

"What did I say before? She's an even bigger idiot." Cissa reminded him and picked him up, having finished with his nappy. She kissed his forehead, which was currently creased in a pouting frown, and made her way back upstairs with him.

She stepped over Bellatrix's limp body and sat him on the bed, which now had clean sheets, thanks to Andromeda.

For the third time that night, Bella stirred. "Wh… what hap…" Her eyes fell on Regulus, and as the memories came back to her, she snarled. "See? You _do _wear nappies."

--

**What do you think?? Just so you know **_**(this feeling's takin' control of me**_**… no, Jesse, shut up…) I really hate this chapter. But it's your opinion that matters, so review!!**


	10. One Last Cup Of Cocoa

**PLEASE DON'T EAT MEEE! –hides– I'm sooooooooooo sorry not to have updated, but Y9 is way tougher than I expected, especially with doing my maths GSCE a year early :S So yeah, a lot of work, but you have not been forgotten!**

**Did I mention I'm JKR? No? Well that's because I'm not.**

**Enjoy!**

**--**

Chapter 10 – One Last Cup Of Cocoa

The ice was cool on her forehead as Bellatrix sat back in the kitchen chair, shutting her eyes and sighing. Three times. Three times she'd been knocked out already. God, she was going to end up insane if it carried on like this.

But now, there was peace and quiet. Now, she could sit back, and relax… possibly read a bit of Romeo and Juliet, if she could find it. Urgh. That would involve getting up. Nah, she could live without it. Sighing, she put her legs on the kitchen table and shut her eyes, trying to calm herself down.

Bella was happy. She'd stolen Regulus' blanket, just to be a nuisance, and now there was silence. Her annoying sisters were in one room, and her annoying cousins were in another. She was, at last, alone.

She hadn't sat there for long before she felt someone's eyes on her. Opening one eye, she glared down at the seven-year-old boy who stood there.

"Go to bed, Sirius. It's late. Little boys like you need sleep." She glared, before leaning her head back and pressing the ice down harder. After about two minutes, she looked down again, only to find Sirius still there, still staring at her. "WHAT??" She yelled, sitting up straight.

Sirius smiled, climbing onto her lap just to annoy her more. "Can I have some cocoa?" He said, pouting and fluttering his eyelashes.

Bella shoved him onto the floor. "No. Go to bed. Go to sleep. Night. Don't come down again unless you want me to bash your head so hard against a wall your brains come out of your nose."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her colourful insult. "You said earlier that I didn't _have _any brains, Trixie."

"And I was right, as usual. I'm smart like that, but I don't expect you to understand."

"Well you're obviously not _that _smart, because if I had no brains, how would they come out through my nose?" Sirius rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow up at Bellatrix.

"You know what I meant, you stupid little brat." Bella snapped, standing up. Sirius took an involuntary step back, but didn't avoid her hand (bandaged now, thanks to his teeth) grabbing his hair and physically dragging him towards the door. "You are so annoying!"

"And I'm proud of it." Sirius grinned as he wrenched his head out of her grip, leaving a few of his too-long black hairs in her hand. "So why can't I have some cocoa? I can't get to sleep if I don't have cocoa. I want cocoa. Give me some cocoa. I want cocoa."

Bellatrix lifted her hands to her hair, pulling at the curly black in frustration. "NO!! I AM NOT GIVING YOU COCOA! GET OVER IT!! GET UPSTAIRS, _NOW!!!_"

Sirius pouted, sticking his lower lip out as far as it would go and pulling the puppy-dog eyes to the limit. "But I can't sleep without my c-"

"I DON'T CARE!! YOU'LL GO TO SLEEP, EVEN IF I HAVE TO KNOCK YOU OUT MYSELF!! 'COS BELIEVE ME, I'LL ENJOY IT!!!" Bellatrix screamed, her teeth bared and her cheeks flushed red with anger.

Sirius ran for it. He skidded out of the kitchen and crashed into a wall, regaining his balance and slipping across the wet marble floor until he arrived in the room his other two cousins were in.

"What's she done now?" Andromeda said, sitting up from where she'd been slouching against the cushions. Narcissa was on the other sofa, halfway through giving herself a manicure, but looked up when he came in.

"I only wanted a cup of cocoa…" He whimpered, trying to make himself cry again. He just suppressed a grin when the first tear slid down his cheek.

Dromeda got up and knelt in front of him, hugging him tightly. "Shh, Sirius, it's okay. I'll tell her off for you. Then you can have your cocoa."

Sirius grinned into Dromeda's shoulder. She really was gullible, and wound up. Two cousins annoyed to the max, and one to go. Annoying Narcissa wouldn't be too hard – mess up her hair, ruin her clothes, hide her makeup, break her nails…

Andromeda stood up suddenly, and Sirius quickly schooled his face back into an upset expression. She ran a hand trough his still-wet hair and looked down at him. "I'll be back in a minute, Siri. Cissy," She added, glancing over at her sister, "Keep him amused, would you?"

As she walked out, Sirius felt Narcissa's hand close around his and pull him back onto her lap. She kept hold of his hand, and placed it firmly on the arm of the chair where she had been doing her own nails on a bit of kitchen cloth. "Now, Sirius…" She said, balancing her over-full bag of nail polishes on the arm of the chair next to his hand. "Rose-pink, magenta, or just a normal French manicure?"

--

Andromeda slammed the door behind her, causing Bellatrix to jerk back up from her chair, glaring at her sister from under the icepack she still had pressed to her head. "Oh. It's you. What do you want?"

The younger moved forward until she was standing less than a foot away from the sixteen-year-old. "You are one of the most annoying people I know. Can't you go for one minute without being the centre of attention? I'm sick of you, Cissy's sick of you, and so are Sirius and Reggie. How about you just act your age for once in your damn life, instead of acting like a stroppy toddler?? I hate you when you're like this… no, wait, I hate you full stop. You're an egotistical, violent bit-"

There was a crack of bone meeting bone, and a thud as Andromeda fell backwards on the floor, unconscious. "Ha." Bellatrix muttered, smirking down at the blood pouring from her sister's nose as she leant the chair back on it's back two legs and shut her eyes, trying to relax.

--

Meanwhile, Regulus Black had stripped off his clothes again and found the towel from before, transforming himself back into Super-Reg, ruler of the universe. He glared at the slimy pygmy puff, which was now halfway up Bellatrix's wall. Regulus cracked his knuckles and messed up his hair, making sure the five little plaits were in full view. He thought they made him look menacing. That pygmy puff would be shaking in fear now, he was sure.

He took a step forward and glared at the little animal. He would get his revenge. It had stolen his Blankie. It had to have – who else would steal it? It was probably doing it on Bella's orders. He'd totally… okay, no… he wouldn't try anything on Bella after this. She, after all, was the 'Forces of Evil'.

It made squelchy noises as it moved, and it left a trail of slime behind it. Urgh. Regulus took another step forward, and tripped over a broomstick on the floor. He landed heavily on a pile of books and slid onto the floor, followed by the numerous heavy volumes. He brushed them off him and scrambled to his feet, making his way slowly but steadily towards the pygmy puff.

He could do this. He was Super-Reg, he could do anything… he wasn't _scared _of it… no… Super-Reg feared _nothing_… except maybe Bella in a bad mood, but _everyone _was scared of that.

He took another tentative step towards the _thing_, raising his hands in a typical kung-fu fight position. The pygmy puff was slithering up the wall, now, nearly a metre above Regulus' head. But he was Super-Reg!! He could _fly_!!

Regulus took a few steps back, narrowing his eyes at the _thing_, before he took a running jump at it. He stepped onto another pile of books and propelled himself forwards and upwards, raising his hand and slamming the side of it into the wall next to her fist.

He'd missed. He was off by about two inches, and his hand really, _really _hurt. He fell to the floor, clutching it. "Oww…" He whimpered, rolling onto his side and squeezing his eyes shut. He wouldn't cry. He _wouldn't_. Sirius would laugh. Bella would laugh.

_Regulus Black!! _Came a voice in his head that sounded oddly like Narcissa. _What did I tell you? They're idiots! You're hurt, go tell someone! Just not Siri or Bella… cos they'll laugh…_

Super-Reg stood up, wiping away the tears on his cheeks. Cissy-voice was right! He'd march down there and tell someone he was hurt!

Regulus stood up, clambering past the piles of mess and hurried down the corridor, sliding down the banister and managing to get across the wet floor of the foyer without slipping over, hurrying into the living room. "Cissy?" He said quietly.

She looked up from where she was doing Sirius' cuticles. "Reggie? What's wrong?"

He climbed onto the sofa next to her and held his hand in her face. "The wall hurt my hand." He pouted, pushing his head under her arm and trying to climb onto her lap next to Sirius.

Narcissa kissed his hurt hand gently, before she took it and placed it on the armrest next to his brother's. "Shh, Reggie, Cissy will make it better. With a manicure. Now, pick a colour." She said, handing him her bag of nail polish.

"Go for the fuchsia, darling, it's a simply _gorgeous _shade." Sirius said, pulling out a mirror from the bag and examining his eyes, checking his make-up was still all right.

--

Half an hour passed, and Sirius was bored. His nails were done, and now he was watching Cissa do Regulus'. It was _boring_. He sighed, and slipped off the armrest, walking silently out of the door without Narcissa noticing.

He walked back into the kitchen to see if he could have some cocoa now, but stopped in the doorway, his eyes widening as he saw Andromeda unconscious on the floor.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO TO BED?!?!" Came a yell of fury from the other side of the room. Sirius' head snapped up to see Bellatrix, her eyes narrowed in fury at him.

He swallowed his fear, and held his head high as he looked at her. "I couldn't sleep. I didn't have my cocoa. I can't sleep without my cocoa." He kept his voice innocent and managed to keep the smirk from his face too, which really was quite an achievement.

Bellatrix snarled, looking really rather insane. Her fists clenched together so tightly her knuckles went stark white, and she growled, looking and sounding very animalistic. Sirius was torn between running and staying to see how annoyed he could make her before she cracked and killed him.

He decided to stay. He was, after all, The Great Sirius Black, and no amount of psychopathic bloodthirsty evil cousins could make him run. Unless, of course, said psychopathic bloodthirsty evil cousins were armed with soap. In which case, he'd be off before you could say 'bathtime'.

But that didn't matter. Bella was not, of this moment, carrying soap, and so he would not run away.

Unless… _Oh, shut up, Sirius!! Just get on with annoying her already!!! _ He chastised himself, before he forced himself to stare back at her.

Bellatrix seemed to snap; she spun around so her back was to him and grabbed handfuls of her chocolate-covered curls. "_If,_ Sirius, I give you your damn cocoa, will you stop pestering me??"

Sirius grinned, walking up and hugging her from behind, just to annoy her more. "Yes. I take my cocoa with twenty-four sugars and milk, thank you. And I must have my special mug. I won't drink it if it's in my special mug."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, wanting nothing more than to slap him unconscious. "And just where is this oh-so-sacred mug of yours, Sirius?" She had to grit her teeth and clench her eyes shut to keep her voice level.

"It's at Grimmauld Place." He said, keeping his voice innocent. "You'll have to go get it. I won't drink without-"

She turned around and grabbed him under his arms, picking him up so their faces were level. "I am not going to get your special mug. You will drink it in whatever I tell you too. Now shut up before I make you lick it up off the floor."

Sirius gulped and fell silent. He had no doubt she'd go through with her threat, and had no wish to let his tongue touch anywhere Kreacher's feet had been. He settled with glaring at her and kicking his feet out at her.

Bellatrix dropped him, but he immediately scrambled to his feet. She'd already turned her back on him and was busy making the cocoa. Sirius clambered onto the side and sat down, staring intently at her until she threw a spoon at him. It hit him on his forehead and he glared, but only got a snappy retort of, "Just be glad it wasn't a knife, Sirius," back.

Three scalds, two broken mugs and eight exclamations of "I hate you!!" later, a steaming mug of cocoa was sitting on the side in a very boring plain white mug (Bellatrix had opted for the least-special mug just to annoy him more).

Sirius raised an eyebrow at it. "What, that's it? No marshmallows? No whipped cream? No grated chocolate? Seriously, you're the worst cocoa-maker ever."

Bella glared down at him. "Drink. It."

Sirius turned to her, arms folded. "Or what?"

She leant down very close to his face and tilted her head down slightly, meeting his eyes and not blinking. "You don't want to know." She said very quietly.

Sirius was now terrified. He hated the way Bella could make even a giant nearly wet themselves, but then again, she was Bellatrix. He whimpered and moved over to the side, taking the plain white mug and drinking down the cocoa without taking a breath. When the last dregs were swallowed, he turned and wiped his cocoa-moustache off his lip. "I did that because I was thirsty. Not because you scared me. No." He said defiantly, thrusting his nose in the air in an uncanny impression of Narcissa.

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Really, now? Did you?" She sat back in her chair, picking up a random copy of Witch Weekly and flicking through it.

Sirius nodded, putting the boring white mug down on the side and glaring at her.

She was unfazed by his glare. Instead, she just raised an eyebrow and regarded him as if he were some little bug not worthy of her attention before turning back to his magazine.

But Sirius hadn't given up yet. He took a step towards her and stood on tiptoes to try and see her magazine. "Anything interesting in there, Frizz-"

"_BED!!_"

This time, Sirius didn't need to be told twice.

--

Just quarter of an hour later, Bella's head snapped up when the door opened again. She wrenched her legs off the table and let her chair fall back onto all four legs again as she sat up straight. "I thought I told you to go to bed." She snapped, looking ready to murder the seven-year-old in the doorway.

Sirius pouted, moving to stand next to her. "One last cup of cocoa?"

Bellatrix made a noise that you might expect top find at a zoo and stood up, kicking her chair in frustration. She would have _liked _to kick Sirius, but she didn't feel like facing Walburga in the morning. "Fine!! Have your bloody cocoa!!" She snapped, storming over to the counter and slamming the chocolate power onto it.

Sirius was silent as she made the cocoa, and didn't move until she slammed it down in front of him, making some of it slop over the side and onto the table, but of course she didn't care.

He took a sip, only to immediately spit it out onto the table. "Oww!! That's boiling! Are you trying to burn me to death?!"

"Don't tempt me." Bellatrix growled, storming over to the fridge and grabbing some milk. With a snarl, she poured some in, resisting the temptation to tip the scalding drink straight down his throat instead.

He took a sip, and made a face. "Oh, now it's too _cold_. Seriously, like you're trying to pour an iceberg down my throat…"

"Shut up." Bella lifted the kettle and poured some of the steaming water into the mug.

"And _now _it's too hot."

This carried on for a few minutes: Bellatrix pouring milk into the mug when he complained it was too hot, which immediately caused him to exclaim that it was too cold.

After what seemed like hours of this repetitive torture, Bella had had enough. She threw the kettle into the sink, not even flinching when it smashed into sharp shards of china and chucked the now-empty bottle of milk over her shoulder. Striding around the table, she grabbed the cup of cocoa and poured it over his head.

Sirius coughed, wiping the cocoa from his eyes and shaking his hands off. The cocoa had been quite hot, and it felt like he had just gone for a nice chocolaty shower, which he certainly didn't mind. What he did mind, however, was that his psychopathic bloodthirsty evil cousin had messed up his hair.

He looked down at his pyjamas, which were currently stained a darker green now they were soaking, but something else caught his eye. For the first time, he realised he was sitting on something other than a chair.

It looked like it _used _to be white, but many years of not being washed and of course, the huge cocoa stain had made it dirty. "Bella…" Sirius said quietly, flashes of the impending doom that would fall on them zooming through his brain. "You spilt it on Reggie's Blankie. He's… he's gonna be _really _angry…"

The girl stared down at it for a moment, before she shrugged and grabbed it, yanking it and sending Sirius toppling off the chair. "Ah, well." Bella shrugged, shoving it in the cupboard under the kitchen sink. "He won't find out. He's probably still asleep. He's far too old to need a stupid rag to help him sleep, anyway."

Sirius bit his lip. He knew that when Regulus' Blankie was threatened, Bellatrix had some competition as the Scariest Member of the Blacks.

--

Okay… I've decided to give Bella's Pygmy Puff a name. Send your suggestions in, and if I like them I'll put them in a poll on my profile XD

**Reviews will be boogied at. –boogies–**

**x**


	11. Revenge

**I'm really sorry for not updating for so long – I have had SO much work. I probably shouldn't be updating now, as I have eight pieces of coursework and a Maths Mock on Monday (hahaa) but I am anyway :P**

**Chapters will be a lot slower now. Sorry, but when it comes to it, school is more important than fanfiction in the end. Thanks to everyone for being so patient xx**

Chapter 11 – Lost Blankie

** This chapter is dedicated to anyone who has ever been pwned by an angry 5-year-old, me included.**

Regulus Black could not sleep. There was something wrong… Sirius had been quite literally thrown into the bed by a furious Bellatrix, who had been clutching her neck, which, when the light fell on it, showed a large painful bite that could only have come from Sirius, and was now making little snuffling noises in his sleep, not unlike a hedgehog. Reggie loved hedgehogs. He had a pet hedgehog once. It was called Horace. He loved Horace. Horace had been his best friend.

Until Bella killed him, when he didn't look much like Horace anymore, just a pile of guts and spikes in a pool of blood on Auntie Druella's best white plush carpet.

Regulus shook his head. He mustn't think about Horace, or he'd start crying and Sirius would wake up and tease him about being scared. And he wasn't scared. He wasn't. Not of that slimy pygmy puff he'd trapped under a glass so it wouldn't slime over his face in the night. Not of the weirdly werewolf-shaped shadows on the wall, or the way her closet door kept opening and closing all by itself…

But something was wrong… what? His toes were happily staying on his feet, and he felt fine, except for his hand, which was still throbbing from where he'd smacked it against the wall while fighting that evil thing of Bella's after it had stolen his Blankie…

Blankie…

That was it!! That was what was wrong! The evil slimy thing, probably acting on Bella's orders, had stolen his Blankie! No wonder he couldn't sleep! How was meant to sleep without his Blankie?

Regulus sat up, not caring if he disturbed Sirius. This called for something serious. Bella had crossed the line. She had stolen Blankie. And now, Super-Reg had to rescue him.

"Reggie? Whatsamatter?" Sirius groaned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes to see better. However, he soon wished he hadn't, because a nude Regulus was standing in front of him, hands on hips.

"Sirius Black," Regulus squeaked, "I have a pro-… prop… thingy for you. Your mission, should you chose to, err, do it, is to…" He sucked in a deep breath and paused for effect, "…kill Bellatrix Black!!"

Sirius grinned up at his brother. "This is why I love you, Reggie."

--

"Cissy, that hurts! Stop it! I'll get Mother to fix it! Really! You're just making it worse!! Ah… OW!!! YOU JUST BROKE IT MORE!!!" Andromeda (who, in her fury, looked and sounded uncannily like Bellatrix) snapped, trying to pull her head out of her little sister's surprisingly strong grip.

Narcissa did not relent. "Don't be an idiot, you can't break something more… at least, I don't think you can. Now stop moving and sit still. I'm only trying to help. Don't snap at me."

Andromeda glared at Narcissa, then looked down at her nose, going cross-eyed in the process. "Are you sure you know how to do this? You're twelve. And it's broken, you can't just stick it back into pl— OW!!!! NARCISSA!!!!"

Narcissa sat back, glaring. "I'm trying to fix your nose!! It has to be fixed now, or you'll just bleed to death and then I'll just be stuck with Bella. Or your nose will be crooked for ever and ever and then you'll just be ugly."

Andromeda blinked back tears as her broken nose was tweaked more. "Cissy, that really, really hurts… please stop. AH, STOP!!! We'll Floo Mother or something."

"She won't care. She'll just cane you for interrupting her in whatever oh-so-important stuff she's doing."

"No, she'll cane Bella. You know how she likes to take her anger out on her. No wonder Bella's completely bonkers now."

"She's not completely-"

"Well she's close. One more hit to the head and she'll be committed to an asylum."

"Dromeda!! Don't be so mean!! She's just a bit… eccentric sometimes." Narcissa said with a forced calm, though inside she agreed with Andromeda, as she prodded her sister's nose again. "I wish we were allowed to use our wands; it would make this so much easier. But then again, if we were, Bella would've probably killed me after the makeover." A proud little grin spread across her face.

Dromeda made a noise of agreement, resting her chin on her hands. "Mm. Where is Bella? I hope she hasn't run off to one of those weirdo meetings again. You know, the Death-wotsits or whatever. I don't like them."

Cissa let out a high-pitched, breathy sigh. "Lucius wants to be one of them…" Her eyes then widened and she hiccupped, slapping her hand over her mouth.

Andromeda's eyes snapped up to her sister's, her mouth open as if she were paused halfway through laughing. "Lucius? Lucius Malfoy? Oh, Narcissa Black, you have a lot of explaining to do…"

--

"So, Turnip Head, why are we killing Bella again? I'm not complaining, of course, but is there any particular reason, or have you finally realised that the world would be a much better place if she were dead?" Sirius asked his brother as they crawled on their hands and knees along the upstairs landing. Both of them had war paint, or rather, Druella's lipstick, on their cheeks, foreheads and noses, and two of Cygnus' socks were tied around their heads just under their hair as hairbands. Regulus, as he was wearing only a towel, had the words 'DEAF TO THE BELA' written in lipstick on his chest.

"Because, Sirius," Regulus said superiorly, glancing behind his brother as he crawled to the top of the stairs and stood up, peering over the banister. "She and her evil pygmy wotsit stole Blankie and hid him somewhere, so now it's up to us to rescue him."

Sirius froze. He had had a part in the stealing of Blankie, but he had no plan to tell his brother this. It would be much more fun to watch Bella suffer, and what Reggie didn't know wouldn't hurt him. "I see." He said instead. "She must perish for that. God forbid Blankie should get hurt."

"I know!!" Regulus was too young to understand the sarcasm in his brother's voice.

"But you know, Reggie… it might not be Bella." Sirius lied airily, examining his nails. He could never resist stirring up commotion into chaos.

Regulus looked up. "Huh? What d'you mean?"

"Think about it. It might be Bella, yes, but Drommie and Cissy… have you seen them for the past few hours? No. They're hiding from you. Maybe because _they've_ got Blankie."

Reggie pondered this for a few seconds, then, as if someone had cast a 'lumos' on his head, his eyes brightened. "You're right!! We have to get all of them and find out who got Blankie!"

"Of course I'm right, I'm always right." Sirius smirked, climbing onto the banister and preparing to slide down. At Regulus' quizzical look, he simply raised an eyebrow. "If we're doing this, Turnip Head, we're doing it properly. Come on." And with that, he slid down, ending with a surprisingly graceful pirouette and bow.

Regulus, however, was not as skilful. It took him about five minutes to actually get onto the banister, and he skidded to a halt about half way down, and had to wriggle like mad to get the full way down. To top it all, he didn't leap off near the end, so instead his backside collided into the knob at the end. With a pained squeak, he slipped sideways until he flopped onto the floor at Sirius' feet.

Sirius shook his head, putting a hand to his face like he'd seen his father do when he saw the state of Sirius' bedroom. "You have so much to learn, Regulus." He said as the younger picked himself up off the floor, massaging his bottom.

Regulus sniffled and nodded, his eyes wide and shining. This look usually worked on anyone older than him when he wanted something (except Bella and Dromeda. Bella was too evil and Dromeda was too clever), but Sirius was having none of it. "Are we going to do this or not, Turnip Head?" He snapped, flicking his brother's forehead.

Regulus nodded. "Yes, Sirius." He said, slipping his thumb into his mouth and looking down.

"Okay, then, we need a plan… Bella first, I think, because she'll be the hardest, then Drommie, th- no! Cissy then Drommie… hmm…"

_Regulus Black!!_ The Narcissa-voice in his head shouted, and Reggie jerked slightly at the sound of it. _It's _your _Blankie that's been stolen! You should lead the mission, not Sirius!! You're letting him walk all over you! You're in charge here, aren't you?_ "I am! I am in charge!!" the five-year-old crowed happily, shoving brutally past his incredibly confused brother and knocking him to the floor, but did he care? No, he was Super-Reg, and he listened to no one! _Well done, Reggie. _ Cissy-voice said.

--

Bellatrix lay on the sofa in her parent's private room, a bottle of Firewhisky in one hand and the elbow of the other over her eyes. There was silence; not Regulus' whine, Sirius' annoyingness, no Cissy constantly commenting on the state of her hair or nails, and best of all, none of Dromeda's _I'm-better-than-you,-Mother-said-so _crap.

_Now it's just me and my thoughts_, she thought happily as she sipped a bit more Firewhisky. _What I wouldn't give to have this every day…_ And slowly, she sank into her dreams of a world where all little sisters are made to serve their elder, and obviously better, sister, and all little cousins are skewered on spikes outside her castle on a daily basis.

Bella never heard the pattering of feet creeping up behind her, nor the scuffle of someone climbing onto the coffee table next to the arm of the sofa that her head was leaning on. Only when the jug of ice-cold water was upturned over her head did she sit up and turn to see the culprit. Regulus grinned widely at her, then bolted before her fist could make contact with any part of his anatomy.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT!!" Her scream echoed throughout the manor as she leapt to her feet, dropping her Firewhisky and letting the bottle smash into little shards of glass on the floor, its contents leaking out over the floor. Unfortunately for her, but not for any other member of the family, most of the water had dripped off her and the sofa onto the marble floor and she slipped, cracking her head on the hard surface but managing to stay conscious, blinking the stars in front of her vision away.

As Regulus sprinted for his life, twisting this way and that along the complex corridors, he wondered vaguely what the words Bellatrix was screaming at him meant, and made a mental note to ask her what they meant when she had calmed down. He ran past the house-elf's quarters and jumped over the practically invisible bit of string he and Sirius had set up a moment ago.

His cousin, however, continued running right into the string, and with more words Regulus didn't know and didn't like the sound of, came crashing to the floor. Immediately, the two brothers jumped on her, Sirius tying her hands above her head and Regulus sitting on her legs, trying to work out how to tie knots while trying to avoid being kicked by her thrashing legs. In the end, Sirius crawled down to help him. After sticking some duct-tape over her mouth, they high-fived and walked off to find the other two. "One down, two to go."

--

Narcissa had finally managed to shake Andromeda off pestering her about Lucius Malfoy, and was now under her bed, her feet sticking out the side. But she didn't care; now the only thing that mattered was the box she was looking through. The box that no one, especially not her sisters or cousins or parents or anything that breathes must find out about. Inside were six and a half pictures of Lucius taken around the school, but none of them were to his knowledge. Her particular favourite was of him eating a corn-on-the-cob; the way his nose wrinkled as he nibbled the corn, the way his beautiful grey eyes focuses only on the cob… oh, how she wished to be that cob… she could look at him all day…

Cissa placed the photo back in the box with the others and pushed them and other things (including a potion's essay of his that she sneaked off Slughorn's desk, the crust of an egg and cress sandwich that he ate, one of his black bows he used to tie his hair back with and a tissue that he blew his nose on… oh, it was heavenly…) until she found what she was looking for.

It was long and nearly invisible unless you held it up to the light, and only then could you appreciate its true beauty. The hair was blond and dead straight, just like hers! Oh, they could make such pretty blond babies…

Sirius and Regulus were crawling army-style past Andromeda's room, and peered in. "Damn! She's not in there." Sirius whispered.

"She's probably doing, err, homework downstairs…" Regulus said, remembering one of the lectures she'd given him about the importance of homework at school.

There was a long, long pause, until, "She actually _does_ homework?

A high-pitched giggle distracted Sirius from his disbelief and Regulus from his thumb sucking. Sirius glanced up towards the next room – Narcissa's. Putting a finger to his lips then pointing to his cousin's room, he crawled double-speed off towards it. Regulus had no choice but to follow.

Narcissa shut her eyes, pressing the single hair to her nose and inhaling deeply, trying to see if she could smell him. She didn't hear her cousins coming into the room until it was too late and the rope was tied around her ankles. She turned her head, panicking, to see who was attacking her, but, because she was under her bed, she managed to smack her head hard on the beam. She groaned, shutting her eyes and clutching her forehead with both hands in pain as she was physically dragged out of her room.

The dragging stopped, and her hands were tied. She heard the door slam, then a voice say dryly, "Hello, Narcissa."

The blonde finally looked up to see her eldest sister, lying flat on her back with her hands tied above her head and some duct tape sticking to one side of her cheek where the boys hadn't stuck it on properly. "Nice of you to join me."

"Bella, what's going on? Who was that?"

"It was Bratboy and follower, who do you think? I'll kill them, as soon as I get out. I swear to God I will. I'll wring their brains out and strangle them with their own intestines-"

"I'm sure it's just a game…" Narcissa said, trying to wriggle into a comfortable position, but broke off at the glare her sister gave her.

--

Ten minutes later, the door opened and the two almost-identical brothers dragged the third sister in, plopping her between the other two. "How did they get you?" Bella asked, even drier than before.

"Sirius said Regulus had cut himself, so I walked off and the next thing I knew I had my hands tied." Andromeda said, and, being more like Bellatrix than she'd ever admit, kicked out at her cousins. They just dodged away. "Oh, and thanks for the broken nose, Bells."

"Anytime."

Super-Reg cleared his throat. "Shush!! We have brought you here today to… err… what comes next, Sirius…?" He turned back to his brother, who whispered something in his ear. "Oh yeah! We have brought you here today to in… inter…inter-o"

"Interrogate! It's not that hard!!" Sirius snapped, whacking his brother over the head.

"Yeah, what he said, in-terry-gate you to find out which of you stole… err… what did they steal again, Siri?" Regulus asked, thumb in mouth. Sirius smacked his forehead. "Oh yeah!" The youngest Black said, pulling out his thumb and brandishing it like it were the memory he'd just recalled. "Blankie!! Which one of you stole Blankie!!"

There was silence, before it was broken by three things at once; the sound of Bellatrix's head hitting the floor in exasperation, Narcissa's groan of "Oh, God…" and Andromeda's sigh of, "boys, how about you be good and ask politely? That way _nobody gets hurt_." She snarled, baring her teeth, and Bellatrix couldn't help but be the teensiest bit impressed.

The five-year-old looked to his brother, asking silently if he should do as told, but Sirius just shook his head. Regulus turned back, folding his arms across his lipsticked chest and shaking his head with a resounding 'No'.

"Now," The older brother said, finally giving up on Regulus and moving forward. "You either tell us who stole the dirty rag-… I mean, err, Blankie, or get maple syrup poured on your hair."

The three girls froze. Maple syrup? In their hair?! That was truly evil… They wouldn't, would they? Sirius saw their terrified faces, as hard as they tried to disguise them, and turned. Picking up a pot of maple syrup, he looked at all of them individually. "Now, who wants to go first?" He finally focused on the one he knew this threat would work best on – Narcissa. "Cissy…"

"NO!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY HAIR!" The blonde desperately tried to scramble away, but soon found herself backed up against the wall. Her legs thrashed out at him, but to no avail; he just dodged them. Soon he was standing by her head, slowly tilting the pot. "NO! SIRIUS, DON'T!! I'LL PAY YOU!! I'LL DO ANYTHING!!! PLEASE!! NOT ME!! GET BELLA, OR DROMMIE, THEY DID IT, NOT ME!! PLEASE!! _PLE-HE-HE-HE-EASE!!!_" But her sobs fell deaf on his ears, and the gloopy syrup reached the opening of the pot, and started to slowly glob down towards her precious, precious hair…

**Again, thanks to everyone for being so patient. This will be the last chapter uploaded for a while, sorry. If you need to contact me for any reason you can message me, I'll reply :)**

**xxxx**


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